hi, first Phil, we learn best when we really feel the pain. I am not sorry I went over there. I had wanted to all day. It was very ok. I just am very easily hurt, but you know I was given a gift. I found out what kind of person I am. Hp helped me. I did not do any revenge if she would have come out and yelled or tried to hurt me I was ready to walk away, or stand behind my A. I was not going to say a word. When I left I had all these awful things I could do to her. But I kept asking hp to be with me. The world is violent enough. I don't want to be a part of that. Today my meeting was just about that. I had to have it on my speaker phone as I am very wrung out from last night. But it was so neat to realize that hp was there with me all along. Had to be, I have no idea how I drove home safely. Phil you helped me.It felt good to see my A better and looking so handsome and touching him and kissing him. And it was nice hearing him be so nice to me. I want so much to be a good example for him. I want him to see some people love him no matter what and are not mean to him or make demands on him. I know I have his love and respect. So I woke up with puffy eyes, thank god the dogs don't care.. lol When I got home all three pups and my big orange cat got on the recliner with me as I sobbed away. We are talking a Great Pyrenees, Sauveur, A Basset, Tavish and a stinky English Bulldog, Dollydoodle. WinaPurr my kitty hates it when I yell or cry or talk loud. She will run up and bite my lip!! lol Ok now A said he would try to call me today. I guess I will take it as it comes. I want to hear his voice. I won't go over there anymore, I don't call there. So it is totally in his hands now. What that probably means is, I won't be in his life anymore. I guess I have no hope anymore. I know one day at a time. I talk to hp allll the time. I learn from reading all the posts here. Anyway thank you to all for caring. No matter what, alanon is a precious gift, if you work the program. I love my A, I am closer to hp, and I am rich with all who share here. Love,debilyn

Dear Debilyn,

 Thank you for posting!! I was sooo worried about you!! I wanted to tell you how much you mean to everyone here and what an inspiration you are. I am praying so much for you and your hubby. Thank God for all those wonderful animals, Eh? I was so scared you might run off the road and hurt yourself..and a million other things! My prayers were answered about that anyway, thanks HP!!!! Lots and lots of love in the program, TLC. Still praying..

(((Debilyn)))

   I have been reading your posts but haven't replied. I am sorry you are feeling so awful.  I just want you to know how courageous I think you are.  You are such an inspiration.  Thank-you for sharing your es&h.   It's people like you who keep me coming back.

                                             Hugs,

                                             Danz

Danz lol some of my posts are pretty inane eh??? Well I tend to let it all hang out. I cannot learn any other way. I am what I am, and that's all that I am... Popeye.... thankyou!love,debilyn

(((Debilyn))))

I have been reading your posts and am ashamed to admitt I could not answer them. I would start to, and everything I would write just came out jumbled. It was like I wanted to yell to you to go over there, then yell no stop, I make no sense these days.

Then you sounded so beaten, and so destitute, that all I felt was fear for you. I am so glad you are okay, and so sorry I had nothing useful to say.

Good for you for going over there, and I am so glad for what Phil wrote to you.

I know none of this is in our hands or control, but I am so sick of seeing this disease win, and so tired of being able to take no action against it.

You and your husband are both in my prayers and I truly pray you will both be okay.

Hug those preciouse furry friends and remember how blessed you are to have them and Eden, and how blessed we all are because of you. This forum and the whole world would truly be a much bleaker place without you.

                              Love Jeannie

Darling Debilyn,

You are strong, beautiful, kind, bright, loving and courageous!

Just keep saying this to yourself. Look after you as you look after everyone else. Make you a priority. You deserve it.

Hugs

Iona54

((((((((((((((Debilyn)))))))))))))))))

My dearest sweet Debilyn,  My heart is going out to you!  I had to go back and read your posts and felt as though I was standing beside you as I read your posts.  I just want to tell you that in times when I feel like I have no hope and I give up on everything my A suprises me and does the unexpected.  This is just something that I have experienced.  I don't give my A the credit for any of it I truely belive that it is HP at work.  I am glad that you realized that HP was with you all along and that it gave you some comfort!

I just want you to know that I think that you are a very strong wonderful person and that I think of you often and pray that you are doing well.

I am sory that I wasn't here to offer you support and kind words when you needed them I wish that I had checked in but I am glad that Phil was able to help you!! and the others aswell!

Hugs and love
JJ