Hello all,

Had a rough night last night and need to get a few things off my chest. So it begins....

I had to work last night, left kids with hubby. Heck he had told me earlier in the week that it was time that he needed help. Finally I thought I could calm down even if just a little bit. I even asked him if he would be alright with kids for me to work late, all seemed to be well. When I got home he was drinking, wanted me to go get him some cheeseburgers, and got mad when I wouldn't started yelling at me and all that. I kept my temper in check though didn't raise my voice even though he was yelling at me. I as calmly as I could told him not to be drinking around the kids not even one drink. Of course I'm being unreasonable according to him. I will not back down on this point AGAIN! I am done taking the chance and will not leave the kids alone with him any more until he gets the help he needs. I cannot as a mother risk their safety any more. He tried his best to get me to argue with him last night. I guess on some level I knew it was coming so I was ready and able to habdle it better than I usually do. Been doing alot of reading. My book Getting them sober finally came the other day. Anyway back to the rest....

When I went to bed last night I was not about to let him lay next to me. He came in the bedroom shortly after and wanted me to scoot to make room. I calmly told him he could sleep on the couch. I guess at that point he figured I wasnt going to bite the bait.

Of course today is a new day and who knows what it will hold for me today. Work again tonight so I will hopefully be able to find someone to come sit with the kids while he sleeps off his hangover. I am sure there will be alot said by him with my decision not to leave the kids alone with him, and I will deal with it the best I can. I have finally set my boundries. I do wonder though if this is right to do, but at this moment it is what I see as best for my children. Thanks to all that have made it though my scattered thoughts.

Feather

 am sure there will be alot said by him with my decision not to leave the kids alone with him, and I will deal with it the best I can. I have finally set my boundries. I do wonder though if this is right to do, but at this moment it is what I see as best for my children

 

Good for you lil feathered one. This is a very important boundary.

I found that setting boundaries with my A got me to start taking control of my life back

I see more bad nights than good anymore. I had to chuckle this morning though when my a husband was turned down in bed that he then gets up and starts cleaning the house like that is going to make everything all better. It's quite funny and sad at the same time how well we do this little dance to try to out do the other with cleaning the house. This is such sick,sick behavior. All I can do today is just laugh. We're past the point of talking, crying, fighting..... Here'a s hoping you have a better evening tonight. I remember how scary it is to leave the kids with an A for supervision! One Day at a Time Whitie

 

One of my biggest mistakes was always expecting my husb to act normal. to step up and be responsible . A practicing alcoholic has only one thing on his mind  , drinking. When I think of the times i let my kids go off with thier dad when drinking it makes me sick .Thankfully God took care of us all.

Our children need to be protected and u do what u ahve to do to ensure they are safe. We are the sober ones , we have to be responsible for our childrens sake.  good luck  Louise

Good for you feather. You have set a very important boundary!! Yes that book is my Bible. It taught me so much. good for you all the progress you have made! love,debilyn

Congratulations on your self control!

I too have banned drinking around my kids, actually he isn't allowed to drink at home at all.  Of course he does sneak it but it limits his exposure to it and it greatly reduces the kids exposure.  He either has to leave to drink or hide it and drink it when we are all gone.  I feel like this is an act of control sometimes but I truly believe that it is a good thing for me and the kids to not have to hear that constant crack of the beer can that sends shivers up my spine and we don't have to watch him drink himself into a fog.

Good luck and take care of you.  You show tremendous progress with you self control.

Love Ya

Holly

I am so glad you made that comment about the constant crack of a beer can.

I thought it was me, I hear it and it just goes right through me. Even if I am by a window and he is outside the house the sound is just so horrible. I have always thought it was just me being neurotic.

Thanks for letting me know I am not alone.

                       Love Jeannie