To start all of you wondering how I am doing.... I am getting healthier every day and feeling much better, Hey I even have some energy back
Well as I mentioned in one of my other posts I have had an awakening of sorts and have had alot of time to think about everything and how I am feeling and what I want in my life and what I don't and what is acceptable to me and what is not.
Well my SIL and I were talking the other day and she had brought up how much it had bothered her to see her brother in the condition that he was on Friday night and has decuided to have al talk with him about the many options he has available to him for help. She had no idea that I have been playing with the idea of an intervention and my mom happens to know a guy who is an interventioist and is going to get me in contact with him. So After SIL brought this up to me I told her about the intervention and agreed to let her have a talk with my husband and we decuided together that if he does not agree to get help that we will definately do an intervention. I have decuided to take these steps as it is just too hard to watch him get so sick and deteriorate and with his behavior and the effects that this disease is having on my children and myself. At first I was not sure but the more I think about it the confidant that I am ready to take this step. I am completly prepared to here that he will absolutly not go through with it and that divorce is inevitable but I am praying for his happiness and that he will find his way out of the darkness that he is in with or with out me in his life.
I am affraid and a bit nervous about it but I fully intend for this to go through and take the necessary steps. The insanity and feeling like I live as a single mom is too much to deal with and I need to take steps for my health to get healthier. If that makes any sence...
I haven't been posting because of all the yoyo emotions I have been feeling and just taking the time to put my mind back on track is what I have been doing for me. WOW what a month it has been!!!
Hubby and I had a moment the other night just sitting out side watching the sunset and I felt serenity and wow the weight was lifted even for just a few minutes... It was nice. These few moments that we have make me want him to find sobriety even more. I know that I can not make him go and that he has to do it on his own. If just showing him that there is an option for him and help that he just might take that step. Any way that is my though for right now. Only time will tell and only his HP and mine know the out come.
I am greatful today that I have finally made a decision and plan to stick to it. I am greatful for many many things that my husband has given me. I am greatful that I have let go of all my anger and resentment. I am greatful that my husband is not fighting me with my recovery. For example May long weekend is comming up and he is very excuited about it and I explained to him that in the place that I am right now that I can not possibly go and watch him be drunk for the 4 days that I can not and will not do it. I told him to go and that the kids and I would do something else. I could see the disapointment but he did not get angry which is progress.
Just one more thing.. My great uncle passed away and the funeral was on Friday, my grandma came out here from BC and ended up being at my house for the weekend. Which was the first Mothers day my mom got to spend with her mom in I am guessing 30 yrs. My mom has thanked me so much that it was shocking. I am proud to have been able to do that for my mom and made such a hard time for all of us into a special time for all of us. Just one more thing that I can be greatful for. Our HP has a way of supprising us when times seem so dark.
I would like to thank every one for their love and support and to let you know that I am truely greatful for that.
Love in recovery JJ
megan said
May 11, 2005
I am very glad that you are feeling stronger
In reading your post I realized how much you have grown since your first posts.
Stronger.
More insight to yourself.
Megan
Powerless said
May 11, 2005
Okay, this may be a silly question...but what is an intervention? Okay, I know what an intervention is, but how it relates to addiction? What does an interventionist do? Will the drinker/addict not just feel everyone is ganging up on him/her?
TLC2 said
May 11, 2005
Dear jj,
I am sooo happy you are feeling so much better!
Sorry about your great uncle, but happy for you and your Mom that you could turn it into a good thing!
Sometimes it takes something like what you have been through for us to realize just what we need and want in life. My prayers are with you and your hubby that you each will find peace and serenity in whatever you decide to do.
Life can be so short, live it at it's fullest, take care of yourself and those precious little ones. If A decides to smarten up and come along for the ride, great, if that is what you really want deep down in your heart, only you will know the answer to that.
I'm going through kind of a hard time right now, trying to decide what path I want for myself. Dry drunks can be Hell too! I went to the beach tonight, where I usually find my serenity, but couldn't even find it there! Then, I came home, saw my horse in the pasture, whistled, and he came galloping. That put a smile on my face!! (no, it wasn't him that kicked me in the head!!). Poor old guy gets a soggy shoulder sometimes, he's the best!!
It made me thank God for my own little Eden right here on earth. The Ocean out my front door, the pasture out my back. How much more could I want, eh?
Take care, thanks for the update, keep on truckin'! Lots of TLC to you and yours!
-- Edited by TLC2 at 21:24, 2005-05-11
jj said
May 11, 2005
Thank you Megan
Powerless... Doing an intervention with love is the point of it. Not to beat up on the loved one but to point out what he/she does not see. Addiction hurts the people around in such strong ways that the addict does not see or perhaps is not willing to admit. Telling the person that the effects that the addicton is causing the people surrounding the addict. Another point that in our case would be brought up is that my husband is getting ill and does not see it but all of us arround him do see it and it is so painful to watch. Also I really do not think that my husband does know what help is available to him I believe that he feels trapped in a no win situation where he in no way possible could take the time for recovery. We will be giving him information and tuff love and no matter what he chooses to do he will know that we love him very much and that our intentions are loving and caring.
TLC... WOW I can only immagine what a beautiful place you have. One of my dreams was to take my horse out and ride on a beach. I find it so amazing that no matter what dreams and possesions we so desperately want and finally get that the disease rears its ugly head and makes something that is supposed to be so wonderful not so gratifying. It is hard... and lonely.. I find this because the person that I want to share it with is so unavailable all of the time. The times that I do cherrish and I am so greatful is the special and few moments that I do get to spend with my husband. The kids make it better at the end of the day when they give me a kiss good night and tell me that they love me. Oh another thing I wanted to tell you. My horse her name was PeeWee not small by any means 18 hands.. Well any time I was down she was my savior. She was the best friend I had that never let me down and with the child hood that I had she was what saved me. I would ride and talk to her or just go sit with her in the field there were thoes lazy after noons when I would go cuddle up to her and have a nap. She was a gentle creature one that I miss soooo very much. I am glad that you have your horse and when you need him. They are very loving unique creatures. PS peewee was the one who kicked me LOL funny story but entirely my fault, just immagine a kid that never leaves the poor horse alone!!!
To start all of you wondering how I am doing.... I am getting healthier every day and feeling much better, Hey I even have some energy back
Well as I mentioned in one of my other posts I have had an awakening of sorts and have had alot of time to think about everything and how I am feeling and what I want in my life and what I don't and what is acceptable to me and what is not.
Well my SIL and I were talking the other day and she had brought up how much it had bothered her to see her brother in the condition that he was on Friday night and has decuided to have al talk with him about the many options he has available to him for help. She had no idea that I have been playing with the idea of an intervention and my mom happens to know a guy who is an interventioist and is going to get me in contact with him. So After SIL brought this up to me I told her about the intervention and agreed to let her have a talk with my husband and we decuided together that if he does not agree to get help that we will definately do an intervention. I have decuided to take these steps as it is just too hard to watch him get so sick and deteriorate and with his behavior and the effects that this disease is having on my children and myself. At first I was not sure but the more I think about it the confidant that I am ready to take this step. I am completly prepared to here that he will absolutly not go through with it and that divorce is inevitable but I am praying for his happiness and that he will find his way out of the darkness that he is in with or with out me in his life.
I am affraid and a bit nervous about it but I fully intend for this to go through and take the necessary steps. The insanity and feeling like I live as a single mom is too much to deal with and I need to take steps for my health to get healthier. If that makes any sence...
I haven't been posting because of all the yoyo emotions I have been feeling and just taking the time to put my mind back on track is what I have been doing for me. WOW what a month it has been!!!
Hubby and I had a moment the other night just sitting out side watching the sunset and I felt serenity and wow the weight was lifted even for just a few minutes... It was nice. These few moments that we have make me want him to find sobriety even more. I know that I can not make him go and that he has to do it on his own. If just showing him that there is an option for him and help that he just might take that step. Any way that is my though for right now. Only time will tell and only his HP and mine know the out come.
I am greatful today that I have finally made a decision and plan to stick to it. I am greatful for many many things that my husband has given me. I am greatful that I have let go of all my anger and resentment. I am greatful that my husband is not fighting me with my recovery. For example May long weekend is comming up and he is very excuited about it and I explained to him that in the place that I am right now that I can not possibly go and watch him be drunk for the 4 days that I can not and will not do it. I told him to go and that the kids and I would do something else. I could see the disapointment but he did not get angry which is progress.
Just one more thing.. My great uncle passed away and the funeral was on Friday, my grandma came out here from BC and ended up being at my house for the weekend. Which was the first Mothers day my mom got to spend with her mom in I am guessing 30 yrs. My mom has thanked me so much that it was shocking. I am proud to have been able to do that for my mom and made such a hard time for all of us into a special time for all of us. Just one more thing that I can be greatful for. Our HP has a way of supprising us when times seem so dark.
I would like to thank every one for their love and support and to let you know that I am truely greatful for that.
Love in recovery JJ
I am very glad that you are feeling stronger
In reading your post I realized how much you have grown since your first posts.
Stronger.
More insight to yourself.
Megan
Dear jj,
I am sooo happy you are feeling so much better!
Sorry about your great uncle, but happy for you and your Mom that you could turn it into a good thing!
Sometimes it takes something like what you have been through for us to realize just what we need and want in life. My prayers are with you and your hubby that you each will find peace and serenity in whatever you decide to do.
Life can be so short, live it at it's fullest, take care of yourself and those precious little ones. If A decides to smarten up and come along for the ride, great, if that is what you really want deep down in your heart, only you will know the answer to that.
I'm going through kind of a hard time right now, trying to decide what path I want for myself. Dry drunks can be Hell too! I went to the beach tonight, where I usually find my serenity, but couldn't even find it there! Then, I came home, saw my horse in the pasture, whistled, and he came galloping. That put a smile on my face!! (no, it wasn't him that kicked me in the head!!). Poor old guy gets a soggy shoulder sometimes, he's the best!!
It made me thank God for my own little Eden right here on earth. The Ocean out my front door, the pasture out my back. How much more could I want, eh?
Take care, thanks for the update, keep on truckin'! Lots of TLC to you and yours!
-- Edited by TLC2 at 21:24, 2005-05-11
Thank you Megan
Powerless... Doing an intervention with love is the point of it. Not to beat up on the loved one but to point out what he/she does not see. Addiction hurts the people around in such strong ways that the addict does not see or perhaps is not willing to admit. Telling the person that the effects that the addicton is causing the people surrounding the addict. Another point that in our case would be brought up is that my husband is getting ill and does not see it but all of us arround him do see it and it is so painful to watch. Also I really do not think that my husband does know what help is available to him I believe that he feels trapped in a no win situation where he in no way possible could take the time for recovery. We will be giving him information and tuff love and no matter what he chooses to do he will know that we love him very much and that our intentions are loving and caring.
TLC... WOW I can only immagine what a beautiful place you have. One of my dreams was to take my horse out and ride on a beach. I find it so amazing that no matter what dreams and possesions we so desperately want and finally get that the disease rears its ugly head and makes something that is supposed to be so wonderful not so gratifying. It is hard... and lonely.. I find this because the person that I want to share it with is so unavailable all of the time. The times that I do cherrish and I am so greatful is the special and few moments that I do get to spend with my husband. The kids make it better at the end of the day when they give me a kiss good night and tell me that they love me. Oh another thing I wanted to tell you. My horse her name was PeeWee not small by any means 18 hands.. Well any time I was down she was my savior. She was the best friend I had that never let me down and with the child hood that I had she was what saved me. I would ride and talk to her or just go sit with her in the field there were thoes lazy after noons when I would go cuddle up to her and have a nap. She was a gentle creature one that I miss soooo very much. I am glad that you have your horse and when you need him. They are very loving unique creatures. PS peewee was the one who kicked me LOL funny story but entirely my fault, just immagine a kid that never leaves the poor horse alone!!!
All my love JJ
-- Edited by jj at 23:28, 2005-05-11