Saturday night was it. I spent the afternoon with 2 alanon friends and when I got home my A was mad.
So I took my bike and went to the park for 2 hours riding and decompressing
i got home and we had a cookout and then he started in with the verbal abuse.
I left the room, went upstairs, picked up my laptop and left out the front door.
i called the Hilton up the street and made a reservation for 2 nights.
i checked in with my laptop and myself.
Yesterday he called on my cell to ask me if we would have lunch together.
I said where would you like to meet?
He said come home and we will have lunch. I said I'm NEVER COMING HOME....And meant it.
i don't know if I will go home or not.
But I checked out of the Hilton and have a reservation with the Homewood suites a few towns over for the week.
yesterday I called a very good alanon friend and talked, then she had another alanon friend call me.
I spent ALOT of time on this board in chat - thank you all for being there
i bought new clothes and a suitcase and new shoes at the mall yesterday, I will buy more clothes today.
Breathe, deep breathe.
My A called me last night to ask me to come home and I said no.
he said why not and I explained I was tired of sitting under the tree with the pigeons pooping on me.
He didn't get it.
I said I am tired of the nasty things you say. He denied it. I hung up.
I changed my paycheck from going to his account to going to my account.
I got the paper to look for an apt.
Thanks for listening
sooner said
May 9, 2005
(((((Megan)))))
sooners here...listening
megan said
May 9, 2005
thanks for he hugs sooner. I am still very shaky. work helps...
nmike said
May 9, 2005
Meagan,
It is ok to set boundaries to take care of yourself. I think that is all that you are doing. If he doesn't like it that is his problem to deal with.
In support,
Nancy
bcanuck said
May 9, 2005
{{{{Megan}}}}
I'm so proud, and envious of you! You have found the courage to say "enough is enough". Good for you. Best of luck!
Bonnie
jj said
May 9, 2005
(((((((((((((((Megan))))))))))))))
Wow you have alot of courage and I am glad that you had friends and support in the time of need! I hope that you are doing well and hope that you find a wonderful appartment, one that suits you perfectly that you find serenity in.
big huggs to you love JJ
megan said
May 9, 2005
thanks Nancy Bonnie and JJ and sooner
i am taking care of me. It is just so different not to worry about him. will he be drunk what will he do how will the night go.
I thought I was detached...but even now I feel guilty i left the grill clean and have to walk away from my phone not to call and check on him sigh.
one hour at a time here, sometimes one minute.
But it is starting to feel good.
More shopping tonight. bike ride in a new park and check in to my new temporary digs... this one will have a kitchen so i don't have to dine out 3 X7.
Thanks for the support and for listening
dot said
May 9, 2005
Hi Megan - Sounds like you've made your decision and it seems to be working for you.
Just remember no decision is written in stone and we will support you in anything you do.
Love in Recovery - Dot
((((((((((Megan))))))))))
wallsal55 said
May 9, 2005
So proud of you to take the time for yourself, and get your thoughts together for your best interests. I must say going away for 48-72 hours was always something I wanted to do, I was just always paralyzed.
abbyal said
May 9, 2005
Well done Megan, your taking care of yourself that is a good thing. You may change your mind in a few days and go back home and thats ok too. It's ok to love an alcoholic. Perhaps u needed just a break from it all and few weeks of just nothing to do but look after yourself . Works wonders for a gal.
Whn my husb and I sepeated it was hard to adjust but it was th best thing that happened to us. Gave us both time to come to terms with our own decissions and feeling , me I found out that I was going to be ok with out him , and he found out that home was where he wanted to be. That was a long time ago now . but have never been sorry I tried again. Al-Anon showed me how to get my life back and allow him the dignity to find his own way in his own time.
It is possible to find happiness wether the alcoholic is still drinking or not.
whitie said
May 9, 2005
Megan
I to am inspired by you. I think soon I will be in your shoes. I hope you keep posting about your experiences, I will gain strength from you. Good ol' ESH!
It must be wonderful to start living YOUR life.
Whitie
Powerless said
May 9, 2005
Oh, how I wish I had the strength you do. Your post encourages me to do what, I know in my heart to do. Thank you for posting. I needed to hear what you had to say tonight. Good luck.
Maria123 said
May 9, 2005
Megan,
I am proud of you for having enough self esteem to know when enough is enough. I am here for you too my dear in chat.
It will get better no matter what decision you make because the most important one is taking good care of Megan. Megan comes first!
love ya, Maria123
Faith73 said
May 10, 2005
((((megan)))))
sounds like you've done what is right for you at this time, i can relate, as i have just moved out of living with my a boyfriend..we are still seeing each other, but i am confident in my decision to have my own place now. who knows what the future will bring..
one day at a time. i'm thinking of you and hope you are well today!!
Saturday night was it. I spent the afternoon with 2 alanon friends and when I got home my A was mad.
So I took my bike and went to the park for 2 hours riding and decompressing
i got home and we had a cookout and then he started in with the verbal abuse.
I left the room, went upstairs, picked up my laptop and left out the front door.
i called the Hilton up the street and made a reservation for 2 nights.
i checked in with my laptop and myself.
Yesterday he called on my cell to ask me if we would have lunch together.
I said where would you like to meet?
He said come home and we will have lunch. I said I'm NEVER COMING HOME....And meant it.
i don't know if I will go home or not.
But I checked out of the Hilton and have a reservation with the Homewood suites a few towns over for the week.
yesterday I called a very good alanon friend and talked, then she had another alanon friend call me.
I spent ALOT of time on this board in chat - thank you all for being there
i bought new clothes and a suitcase and new shoes at the mall yesterday, I will buy more clothes today.
Breathe, deep breathe.
My A called me last night to ask me to come home and I said no.
he said why not and I explained I was tired of sitting under the tree with the pigeons pooping on me.
He didn't get it.
I said I am tired of the nasty things you say. He denied it. I hung up.
I changed my paycheck from going to his account to going to my account.
I got the paper to look for an apt.
Thanks for listening
Meagan,
It is ok to set boundaries to take care of yourself. I think that is all that you are doing. If he doesn't like it that is his problem to deal with.
In support,
Nancy
{{{{Megan}}}}
I'm so proud, and envious of you! You have found the courage to say "enough is enough". Good for you. Best of luck!
Bonnie
(((((((((((((((Megan))))))))))))))
Wow you have alot of courage and I am glad that you had friends and support in the time of need! I hope that you are doing well and hope that you find a wonderful appartment, one that suits you perfectly that you find serenity in.
big huggs to you love JJ
thanks Nancy Bonnie and JJ and sooner
i am taking care of me. It is just so different not to worry about him. will he be drunk what will he do how will the night go.
I thought I was detached...but even now I feel guilty i left the grill clean and have to walk away from my phone not to call and check on him sigh.
one hour at a time here, sometimes one minute.
But it is starting to feel good.
More shopping tonight. bike ride in a new park and check in to my new temporary digs... this one will have a kitchen so i don't have to dine out 3 X7.
Thanks for the support and for listening
So proud of you to take the time for yourself, and get your thoughts together for your best interests.
I must say going away for 48-72 hours was always something I wanted to do, I was just always paralyzed.
Well done Megan, your taking care of yourself that is a good thing. You may change your mind in a few days and go back home and thats ok too. It's ok to love an alcoholic. Perhaps u needed just a break from it all and few weeks of just nothing to do but look after yourself . Works wonders for a gal.
Whn my husb and I sepeated it was hard to adjust but it was th best thing that happened to us. Gave us both time to come to terms with our own decissions and feeling , me I found out that I was going to be ok with out him , and he found out that home was where he wanted to be. That was a long time ago now . but have never been sorry I tried again. Al-Anon showed me how to get my life back and allow him the dignity to find his own way in his own time.
It is possible to find happiness wether the alcoholic is still drinking or not.
Megan,
I am proud of you for having enough self esteem to know when enough is enough. I am here for you too my dear in chat.
It will get better no matter what decision you make because the most important one is taking good care of Megan. Megan comes first!
love ya, Maria123
((((megan)))))
sounds like you've done what is right for you at this time, i can relate, as i have just moved out of living with my a boyfriend..we are still seeing each other, but i am confident in my decision to have my own place now. who knows what the future will bring..
one day at a time. i'm thinking of you and hope you are well today!!
lots of love..
your friend :)
christine