I feel so so angry with my ex-A for the way he has treated me over the past few months. I feel used and abused, He has been sober and following his programme for the past 6 weeks and I feel to reach that he has just climbed all over me. I am really down and feeling vulnerable. He is hardling talking to me, spending all his time socialising with his AA friends. Even though I know this is what is best for him i feel jealous and alone. After a three separation I felt so much better in myself, confident and really together, but the past six months , because he split with the women he left me for, I have been supporting him and got sucked in again. Now he is feeling better he has forgotten about me. I know I sound very self pitying and resentful and I am but I still cant change this .
I have been to f2f meetings, even a mini convention , prayed, read al anon literature and still i feel like this. Any suggestions would be most appreciated
sanddie said
May 9, 2005
As others have their opinions about looking to literature from all recovery groups to help you through the pain-- all I can say is that it wasn't until I put ALL of my focus on establishing my relationship with ONLY God that I began to heal from the pain of such an awful heartache after having to breakup with my ex a that all the deep heart throbbing pain began to subside. I thank God everyday for His presense in my life and for ALL of the resources He offers to each of us in the form of friendships, nature and most importantly His grace, mercy, and forgiveness that allows me to feel peace within myself at any moment of any day....
Like you, I believe my ex is already with someone else and has moved on.... By praying for him, as well as myself, I received so much blessing into my life-- the anger lifted and was replaced with peace. In turn, I am able to ALWAYS remember the love I have for him in my heart and am also so very thankful that God has allowed me to love so deeply, even if only for a time. After all, there is a time for EVERYTHING-- love, pain, joy, sadness.....
Take Care and hang in there....
-- Edited by sanddie at 06:58, 2005-05-09
bcanuck said
May 9, 2005
Good morning Melanie
Wow, you've been kicked around a bit of late, no wonder you're angry. Two months ago I was nothing but one big ball of anger, but slowly, perhaps imperceptably, time has helped this to heal. Time, and this group and their healing words. Keep doing what you are doing and you will wake up one morning and realize you're not as angry as you were, and every day will get better after that..... if you let it.
Bonnie
wallsal55 said
May 9, 2005
I know I have felt that when my spouse works his program and has to "keep busy" I am last on the list. I pointed out to him that last week, he completely skipped over our planned trip (just 2)........invited the children on the trip........then he couldn't go because of work! I pointed this out to make sure he noticed his treatment of me. [Our daughters took the "ya, ya sisterhood" trip together and had fun] I did so...in hoping that I can set a boundary with him.
Boundaries may be a topic for you to look up in the index or meeting topic. Boundaries are soooo important to me. I do not need to be clobbered anymore......emotionally, spiritually, that is. Learning about boundaries and practicing settint them helps me take care of myself and stand up for myself.
Jeannie said
May 9, 2005
(((Melanie)))
For me the literature does help, and so do meetings, but when things really start to get to me, and believe me they do. I have found the best medicine is to take a really good look at the good things in my life. It gets all jumbled up in hte nonsence, but it is there and I feel better when I focus on it. I just count my blessings and hold them real close.
Hang in there, it will get easier. Keep venting here, and keep taking care of you.
Love Jeannie
melanieL said
May 10, 2005
thank you all for your support, still dont feel much better, quite anxious still. Really trying to stay positive, but really hard, still have a f2f meeting tonight so that might help. What i really want is not to love him anymore. I dont want to carry this overwelming love anymore. Its tearing me apart.
KathyS said
May 12, 2005
Find a sponsor and begin working the steps. That will make all the difference in the world.
I feel so so angry with my ex-A for the way he has treated me over the past few months. I feel used and abused, He has been sober and following his programme for the past 6 weeks and I feel to reach that he has just climbed all over me. I am really down and feeling vulnerable. He is hardling talking to me, spending all his time socialising with his AA friends. Even though I know this is what is best for him i feel jealous and alone. After a three separation I felt so much better in myself, confident and really together, but the past six months , because he split with the women he left me for, I have been supporting him and got sucked in again. Now he is feeling better he has forgotten about me. I know I sound very self pitying and resentful and I am but I still cant change this .
I have been to f2f meetings, even a mini convention , prayed, read al anon literature and still i feel like this. Any suggestions would be most appreciated
As others have their opinions about looking to literature from all recovery groups to help you through the pain-- all I can say is that it wasn't until I put ALL of my focus on establishing my relationship with ONLY God that I began to heal from the pain of such an awful heartache after having to breakup with my ex a that all the deep heart throbbing pain began to subside. I thank God everyday for His presense in my life and for ALL of the resources He offers to each of us in the form of friendships, nature and most importantly His grace, mercy, and forgiveness that allows me to feel peace within myself at any moment of any day....
Like you, I believe my ex is already with someone else and has moved on.... By praying for him, as well as myself, I received so much blessing into my life-- the anger lifted and was replaced with peace. In turn, I am able to ALWAYS remember the love I have for him in my heart and am also so very thankful that God has allowed me to love so deeply, even if only for a time. After all, there is a time for EVERYTHING-- love, pain, joy, sadness.....
Take Care and hang in there....
-- Edited by sanddie at 06:58, 2005-05-09
Good morning Melanie
Wow, you've been kicked around a bit of late, no wonder you're angry. Two months ago I was nothing but one big ball of anger, but slowly, perhaps imperceptably, time has helped this to heal. Time, and this group and their healing words. Keep doing what you are doing and you will wake up one morning and realize you're not as angry as you were, and every day will get better after that..... if you let it.
Bonnie
I know I have felt that when my spouse works his program and has to "keep busy" I am last on the list. I pointed out to him that last week, he completely skipped over our planned trip (just 2)........invited the children on the trip........then he couldn't go because of work! I pointed this out to make sure he noticed his treatment of me. [Our daughters took the "ya, ya sisterhood" trip together and had fun] I did so...in hoping that I can set a boundary with him.
Boundaries may be a topic for you to look up in the index or meeting topic. Boundaries are soooo important to me. I do not need to be clobbered anymore......emotionally, spiritually, that is. Learning about boundaries and practicing settint them helps me take care of myself and stand up for myself.
(((Melanie)))
For me the literature does help, and so do meetings, but when things really start to get to me, and believe me they do. I have found the best medicine is to take a really good look at the good things in my life. It gets all jumbled up in hte nonsence, but it is there and I feel better when I focus on it. I just count my blessings and hold them real close.
Hang in there, it will get easier. Keep venting here, and keep taking care of you.
Love Jeannie