I was at a good meeting earlier and could most relate to staying in the day as a topic. Working on it! I feel the urge to start predicting my son’s future (no one ever said I was psychic but I seem to think I am) and project & then emotional respond to those scenarios
He is treading on thin ice with us and I have had to work so hard at not going up and down with his ups and downs.
Some weeks he seems like he is holding to our contract with at least a B+(we made an agreement that if he wants to stay in our home, he needs to do about 7 positive and or reasonable things) some weeks he gets about a c- or d+ ish.
I am looking 4 progress not perfection from him.. And look but do not Stare as I learned here. But when I am "looking" it is pertinent to also keep focus on myself and what I need to stay healthy within these limits.
It’s a balancing act not to get too focused on his progress or lack of. And not to get co-dependent about being up when he is good or down when he is bad.
I have learned without a doubt that the A is gonna do whatever he is gonna do; I may contribute as a parent but not control. So I really need to work at staying in today-- this one 24 hr. period of life.
And ask myself "is he allowed to live at home for today, if so then what r my mental/behavioral boundaries I need to keep me safe and well? Not discuss this….or that,
not harp on him about this or that….THINK be4 I speak, Just this one day. Write down my concerns for future reference so that when we have to need a talk about a downward trend I have clear recall
and plenty of time to THINK & then can address things without being hurtful.
Remind myself that this is his life and his choices & trust in the lesson plan his higher power may want for his spiritual unfolding & character building
Remember I am not his HP. Boy do I need to keep coming to get good at all that. I am where I need to be and that is solidly in al-anon using the tools and opening my mind, like my friend says she is not in al-anon cuz she happened to be in the neighborhood.
take care Luv 123 (a.k.a sha-angel--the board wont accepts my "sha" nick 4 some reason)
lil_feathered_one said
May 5, 2005
I think that is just what I needed to hear....stay in today. I've never been good at that. I need to stop worring so much about tomarrow or next week and just worry about today.Thanks so much for that post luv.
Hi everyone,
I was at a good meeting earlier and could most relate to staying in the day as a topic. Working on it! I feel the urge to start predicting my son’s future (no one ever said I was psychic but I seem to think I am) and project & then emotional respond to those scenarios
He is treading on thin ice with us and I have had to work so hard at not going up and down with his ups and downs.
Some weeks he seems like he is holding to our contract with at least a B+(we made an agreement that if he wants to stay in our home, he needs to do about 7 positive and or reasonable things) some weeks he gets about a c- or d+ ish.
I am looking 4 progress not perfection from him.. And look but do not Stare as I learned here. But when I am "looking" it is pertinent to also keep focus on myself and what I need to stay healthy within these limits.
It’s a balancing act not to get too focused on his progress or lack of. And not to get co-dependent about being up when he is good or down when he is bad.
I have learned without a doubt that the A is gonna do whatever he is gonna do; I may contribute as a parent but not control. So I really need to work at staying in today-- this one 24 hr. period of life.
And ask myself "is he allowed to live at home for today, if so then what r my mental/behavioral boundaries I need to keep me safe and well? Not discuss this….or that,
not harp on him about this or that….THINK be4 I speak, Just this one day. Write down my concerns for future reference so that when we have to need a talk about a downward trend I have clear recall
and plenty of time to THINK & then can address things without being hurtful.
Remind myself that this is his life and his choices & trust in the lesson plan his higher power may want for his spiritual unfolding & character building
Remember I am not his HP. Boy do I need to keep coming to get good at all that. I am where I need to be and that is solidly in al-anon using the tools and opening my mind, like my friend says she is not in al-anon cuz she happened to be in the neighborhood.
take care Luv 123 (a.k.a sha-angel--the board wont accepts my "sha" nick 4 some reason)
I think that is just what I needed to hear....stay in today. I've never been good at that. I need to stop worring so much about tomarrow or next week and just worry about today.Thanks so much for that post luv.
Feather