I am going to my second al anon meeting tonight.  I am determined  and WILL GO.  I have told my husband i am planning to go and again he was furious.  Any great suggestions of how to handle this, how to explain it---- I already used "sorry you feel that way".  I think i tried, "this is something i am doing for myself".  Those of you in this spot---what do you do or say?  Another common comment from him is that this is all about me.  (I think to myself, yes it is for once, but obviously that isn't a good come back!)  Help me out here.  I want to do this and be strong for me.  Sometimes i just don't know what to say to him.  thanks

Dear Lost, my suggestion for you is to tell your husband what you have already told him...  that you love him and respect his opinion, but you need to do something for yourself.  It's ok if he doesn't like that you are going to meetings, that is his opinion. Alanon is all about taking the focus off the alcoholics drinking and putting it on yourself. That means taking care of yourself and learning about you.  You have my prayers lost, SenoraBob

Hi Lost  I have the perfect solution  hehe .  I told my husb that I finally realized that I had a problem with his  drinking  , and that was why i was going to get help for me.  Of course he loved it and said   See I told you , you were the one with the problem and walked off quite pleased with himself. He never tried to stop me again.   

And if you think about it your  hubby was probably angry all the time before u found the meetings so now u have given him something diff  to complain about. Keep going , this prog is for you.  And it was suggested to me that I not share my literature with my husb.said it was like giving the enemy your game plan. enemy being the disease of Alcoholism not the man. read the literature do what it says to the best of your ability and life will improve.  good luck Louise

heehee, wish I had thought of that one!! Love, TLC

Thanks for the chuckle Louise.

As for me I got the same anger and grief from my A hubby so I stopped going to meetings...for 15 years.  I was lucky enough to have at least picked up enough tools from the meetings I did go to to make it through. 

I finally found this site a few months ago (thank google) and come to the on-line meetings and chats in secret, when he is not around.  Not exactly a perfect way, but for me the best solution for now and I am feeling better. 

Bottom line...don't give up...keep coming back, it works.

Bonnie

I am not able to go to face to face meetings either, so this message board has been my sanity-saver! I am not able to be on while the meetings are in progress much either:( but if you can, try to go to them and on chat too. It's a wonderful program with many wonderful, caring people who have 'been there' and understand! Keep coming back, it'll change your life! :) Love, TLC