hello  i'm thinking about coming back to meetings. i have not been to a meeting since my husband died the relationship i'm in now is sick but no one has a drinking problem. i'm not sure what to do, i cry often.

Even if the Alcoholic in your life is gone, you never forget them. They changed you, they changed your life. You have been effected by alcoholism; therefore you are ALWAYS welcome in these rooms.

Good luck to you and I hope you find comfort.

~TC

I think that maybe you have already answered your own question by reaching out to people whom you know can relate to you.  Fellow members of Alanon.

Welcome back, and keep coming back.

My husband is dying from cancer and alcoholic related diseases.  It is 11pm here in the UK and I've just given him morphine and settled him down for the night.  I have a lot of practical help from a Cancer Palliative Care Team, but I need my Alanon friends, and they are there for me 24/7. 

You know this is the right place for you to be.  Even 'tho you no longer live with active alcoholism, your life was effected and it takes a long time for those scars to heal.

Your Alanon friends are here for you and always will be.  You are not alone.    Sheila H.

 

Hello stillouthere,

(((((((((((hugs))))))))) I can relate to the marriage part even though my daughter is the alcoholic and not my husband. Now that my daughter is better I am left with the marriage situation. I am using my same alanon tools, 12 steps, etc. to cope. Believe me, they are helping :) I don't know if they are helping my spouse but I am happier and am able to detatch to a point. I mean to a point because it is hard to not listen to mean comments or see dirty looks :(  It takes alot of practice and time. I come here to the message board and chatroom to vent and get support when I usually say my hubby is crabby today. For me crabby could mean anything from him saying very hurtful things or him being an outright jerk nonverbally. I am one that does believe in marriages and I love happy endings. I am also finding that with me getting healthier in alanon focusing on me that my happy ending may not include a life long marriage with my spouse. I have no idea what the future holds. All I know is right now I am living one day at a time and working on me. I feel safe here sharing this since we don't really know who all of us are. I hope you can take a risk too and feel safe enough to share more information and vent so you can recieve the support and help here too. Welcome back! You are at the right place.  your friend in recovery, cdb :)

Glad you are back.  I sometimes feel very empty and when I come back here and read the posts, I feel so much better.  Being involved w my family problems, I forget to focus on me and my spiritual health...it seems that is the first thing that i set aside as reality takes precedence--my day-to-day activities--work, etc., taking care of basic needs.  Then I reach a point, like you have, where something is missing.  And, we know what is missing...our active participation with our HP.  So we must get to work on us.  Blessings and love to you.  Annie

Hi,

You already know want to do; it's just a matter of listening to yourself or HP.

The thing about al-anon is that it's about us not the other people in our life. If you’re in another difficult complicated relationship with a new man, the one constant is you, not the men.

 

Sending you love, support and encouragement to attend al-anon meeting and work the program again.

 

Hi Stilloutthere,

Welcome back. I agree with what the others have said. Alanon is here for you to help you heal and be happy. Even with your husband gone, you still have yourself to worry about, and still carry the effects of his alcoholism.

It is great that you are here, and if you are thinking about going to meetings hopefully you will.

Remember always, that you are important.

                                 Love Jeannie

Hi,

The fact that you are reaching out, means that you are ready to make some changes in your life.  I really encourage you to attend Alanon meetings, and to post on this message board, because it will give you, happiness in your life.  You will begin to take care of yourself, and your own needs.  We come to understand what we like, what we need, and the best relationship comes from knowing ourself first.  Since I have attended Alanon, and done the reading, had a sponsor, and sponsored people, I know myself much better.  When we put our HP in our lives we start to feel hopeful, and find contentment.  I believe so much, because my life has become much more fulfilling than ever.  I hope that some of these words will be comforting to you.  May HP bless, and keep you well

Hi am so glad u are here, You do know what to do and you already got started by comming      here today. Welcome back to recovery, I agree with all who have posted this disease affects every part of your life the way u think act and react to others, Al-Anon will show u how to  change the attitudes that get u into trouble.  I have been in active recovery for 19 yrs now and occasionally am still totally overwhelmed at how much alcohol has affected my life and those I love , I continue to go to meetings for me , I am my biggest problem.

I hope u find meetings soon , and you begin to feel better. today I simply change the word alcohol to the name of the person I am having trouble with, this is a program for living. MY LIFE and to allow me to get the most from each day. One Day at A TIME  al anon will give you your life back.    bye for now   Louise

 

Hi There

Welcome back

I ended a marriage 4 yrs ago to the man i thought was the love of my life , i lived for him for 17 yrs

he was an (is ) A who relapsed and refused to go back to AA , prefered to leave me

I suffered for 2 yrs all alone ... was suicidal.. and finally .... BING! I remembered the help I had gotten in alanon from 86-92

so... with the gift of great desperation ... I came back to alanon in '02 ...he has been gone for 4 yrs , but the damage his disease did ...lives on ...i want to be healed ... so i can do something w/ the time i have left

I am soooooooooooooo much happier with the love and support of alanon and the tools that help me live

I hope  you will sticK around to see what miracles lie in store for you .

Love in recovery,

Fiona