I was sitting talking with one of my friends last night. She has been going through some life changes recently and has been seeking out the advice of a psychic to find out what the future holds.

I was curiouse and I asked her if it made her feel better and she said yes, then told me I should go speak to one, with all of the turmoil in my life. Well we began talking and I told her that no psychic can tell me what is in my future as every path I take will change it. I told her that as for where I am today, if I look into myself I can see where I am and why I am there.

Every decision I make right or wrong becomes a part of who and what I am. It changes where I will end up.

She told me that the psychic knew about her past and how it affects her future. I said you know about your own past and while you need to accept it and learn from it, you can't change it. The past is gone and set.

We where speaking of her Mom who is recently passed away ,and she she really wanted the psychic to tell her if her Mom was okay. I asked her what was in her heart? I said come on you know what you where taught and what you believe, (her and I have had many talks on religion and each others beliefs) I said you have told me so many times about waking up smiling from thinking of her, of hearing her advice in your head. I said you know in your heart that your Mom was a good woman and you know in your heart that she is okay. She said she does but she needs to be reassured. I said you can do that yourself.

Her and I debate all the time, she is one of my friends that I can have deep talks with and have to think about big people issues and not diapers and bottles. In reality if she wants to speak to a psychic, I wll support her and not judge, but we can still debate the issue.

To me it was eye opening, because the things I have learned here at Alanon have become so much a part of who I am. I guess it is another path chosen.

                       Love Jeannie

Jeannie:

It's interesting that you post this here, as I have to express my thoughts about this "psychic" ONLY because of coming from a background of being raised to believe that is EXACTLY what I am.  Additionally, having read tarot cards for several people AND having been brought to courses even with my mother to learn how to increase my advanced perception and intuition to "read" other people and tell them their life situations.  Having been involved with Ouija boards, seances, to mediums to determine what I thought were results has brought me to this conclusion.

It was not UNTIL, the reality of how these forms of idolization of a person to determine my life was realized that my life began to change for the better....  It was also not until I realized that the ONLY thing I was doing in practicing these beliefs and telling people their future was I able to see the HUGE amount of CONTROL I had in myself.  Control in determing my future (because that was the way I was taught)  Ironically, that was the part of my life that had been most OUT OF CONTROL, INSTABLE, WITH NO BALANCE OR DIRECTION.  So much for throwing those tarot cards down to look for an answer.  It also was not UNTIL I threw my tarot cards away, became focused on God in my life that ALL HELL literally broke loose in the form of my 5 nieces and nephews dying in a fire, my husband at the time attempting suicide twice in a year period, my daughter ending up with a seizure disorder that began out of the blue and was recognized initially as possible start of scizoprenia.  Satan was losing his hold on me and did all he could to break me, as he continues to do in this world in any situation he can use to do so to an individual.  Ultimately, trying to never let us recognize our relationship with God and not as a wife belonging to someone else, or a husband belonging to someone else-- we are ONLY ONE THING-- a child of God, worthy of having others love us and us love others as God loves us.  :)))  Whatever, Satan seems to think--- 

I've dealt FIRST hand with a life led by spiritual warfare and I will say this... IF you allow yourself to be taken into that lifestyle, it is GUARANTEED to offer instability, anxiety, and lack of peace within yourself BECAUSE what you are doing it saying you are in control and contradicting any belief that God exists-- Ultimately, giving into what Satan wants more than anything-- for us to think that we can live this life WITHOUT God. 

Been there, done that... and had I NOT gotten away from those thoughts or beliefs, I KNOW in my heart that I would not be here to talk with anyone right now.  It's a dark, dark, world when it comes to spiritual warfare.   Let me recommend a book that opened my eyes to this concept---  Victory Over The Darkness, A Battle For The Mind-- by Neil Anderson.   Another is The Bondage Breaker, by Neil Anderson.  Both books I read that gave me insight and the turning point in my life to go in another direction that was the direction God wanted me to go and part of that direction was HERE with the discovery of circumstances or people that I have NO control over, yet can be healthy enough to make good choices or decisions unlike I could ever do before.   

I'd like to finish with an analogy of this situation briefly.  If it were 20 below zero outside, would we recognize it, learn about how cold it is and ultimately prepare for it... Choose a warm coat that would get us through and depending on the number of hours we planned on staying in the cold, the warmer we would dress-- possibly even wearing snow pants, hats, gloves and scarves right?  Well, the same is true with Satan-- people often are afraid and don't want to acknowledge that Satan exists, but choose to acknowledge God.  With this in mind, how do we prepare ourselves for the attacts Satan has in our life.  The more we learn about who Satan is and the tricks he continues to play in our lives in circumstances or situations to keep us from ever healing and truly knowing God in our heart, the less likely we are to not feel the pain and effect of these circumstances AND continue to live in the same circumstances, never growing as an individual towards God, having peace.  Just like the cold weather-- if unprepared we would FREEZE.  Without the understanding of the tricks Satan plays in our life, we do not put on the Armour of God and in turn die spiritually-- we choose unhealthy circumstances and in turn spiritually weaken--  our hearts grow weaker, our health takes its toll on us and we remain filled with heartache.  :)))

Take Care!  :)  My prayers are with your friend. 

Jeannie, reading your post reminded me of how far I have come thanks to this programme.  Pre-Alanon if I had had a similar conversation to the one you had with your friend, I would have argued this way and that.  But thanks to Alanon and my wonderful Sponsor who gently and patiently took me through my Step 4, I can now accept other peoples beliefs for what they are.  They are their beliefs, not mine.  And I don't have to argue with that.  With the help of this programme I have learnt tolerance, patience and to be non-judgemental.  [only three of several other defects which I discovered via step 4].  Don't always manage to work them, but I keep trying. 

I have learnt that if others find comfort from beliefs not my own, then good luck to them.  I can choose the route I want to take and be happy for others who find comfort in their chosen paths.

Who am I to say what is right or wrong.  Thank you Alanon.      Sheila H.

Hello Jeannie, sanndie and she,

Sometimes I just love these thought provoking posts because they help me to search inside myself and think what I am all about too. One of my boundaries is to not discuss each individuals beliefs too much but for me to listen to what they believe and take what I want and leave the rest. Of course it is always stimulating to have a friend like jeannie where we can talk about our own beliefs and past situations. I am a very open person and love to hear about other's lives and religions. For me all learning is valuable and makes me a more complete person. So sanndie, I always enjoy reading about your situtations and beliefs knowing that you are sharing you. My one brother is an athiest, the other agnostic with a Catholic believing wife, my kids are whatever they are (probably Lutheran like us) and most of my dad's extended family are Catholic with nuns and priests in the family. My dad was excommunicated by the Catholic Church when he married my mom. He was picked out of his 11 siblings to be the priest too. I have a cousin that was a leader in withcraft for awhile (covin I believe). My college roomate was having an affair with a priest and thought she was pregnant and he use to call and have long talks with me back then. I was in the Jesus Movement when I was a teenager for about a year. I still find it in my heart to care about each of these people and not be judgmental. Well, I may be judgmental when sharing with a close friend like Jeannie did. For me it all goes back to take what you want and leave the rest. Isn't it great that we can all live in the same world and still get along when we choose too. Who knows if my beliefs in my life may change again. I am secure in what I believe now and it is working in my life and with my work in alanon. I am grateful that I have a place where we can also share like here. Having support from all people in all walks us life is so valuable. What a gift!  cdb :)

Every decision I make right or wrong becomes a part of who and what I am. It changes where I will end up."

I really loved what you said & how you said it.  It is sooo true.  Beautifully put!

cdb:

As you can tell, I'm VERY strong in my faith in God and Christian in particular.  I posted on the subject of spiritual warfare based on experience and how it affected my life.  Typically, I will not state my thoughts so strongly UNLESS I am credible to do so in having experienced a situation. 

I do want to clarify myself to you and others.  There is NO DOUBT that Jesus is my focus and has brought me to know God completely and is the core of my existence.  Not a movement for me, but FREEDOM to be who I am completely and accepting of myself.  :)))  There is NO DOUBT that the several happening that occured throughout my life were NOT COINCIDENCE, which is what has led me to write my autobiography titled "Coincidence Or Not?".  :))) 

Anyway, what I REALLY want to say is that the bottom line whether Christian, Buddist, Lutheran or any other choice of belief is in ones heart it ALL comes down to ONE THING-- LOVE!  Additionally, whether an alcoholic, codependent, thief, or murderer, as difficult as that is to accept-- WE ARE NOT IN CONTROL and ultimately it is up to God to handle all situations of this world.  However, we are given His great mercy and grace, along with free will to choose directions in our life that lead us AWAY from causing detrimental harm to ourselves.

I will NEVER tell anyone that they are wrong with what they believe to be their center (HP) because arguing and debating on ANY issues that are different to those that are mine would contradict the very purpose of accepting and loving others unconditionally-- as we are taught with how Jesus came as a person.   Having love, compassion and kindess towards even tax collectors and many sinners..... That was the greatest gift God has ever given us because it allows us to be accepting of ourselves completely in knowing that even Jesus had to suffer pain as a result of others, yet was still able to love them completely.  :)))  How many times have you and I cried because of heartache???  Just as Jesus cried over heartache to see and FEEL so much abuse just BECAUSE he loved.... Isn't it interesting that here we are the same-- loving individuals with an illness so much that it caused heartache.  We are more like Jesus than most of us realize having that heartache.  :))) 

There aren't  many situations I will walk away from.  However, when people begin dictating to others what is essentially the ONE and ONLY way in ANY situation, whether it be religious or Alanon, I want no part of those individuals.  It only shows to me that they are closed minded and controlling.  The very thing I am learning NOT TO BE.  :)))

I miss some of you in chat..... Take Care!  (((((((((((((((((((cdb))))))))))))))))))))))