Thank you all for your love and support this week.  It really made a difference in my life.  I haven't been happy in  a long long time.  Its been a bad year with two major hurricanes hitting our town in Florida, and the usual stuff with my "A" husband.  My husband is really confused as to why I have been calm and low key all week.  Interesting even how a total drunk notices small changes.  I have said things in a normal tone and truly feel like some progress has been made.  He even told me to take time for me today.  Weird Huh???  He watched our daughter while I had my pedicure, and nails done.  When I was finished there I went and had a nice big coffee at Barnie's and bought a few outfits for work.  Boy what a great day.  I feel like a million bucks and so much energy I can't sleep.  Just finished a good 5 loads of laundry.  Again, thanks to all I couldn't have done it without your kind words and wisdom.  Have a great week! :0)  ODAAT

WAY TO GO Dawn!

 

It is really something how when we get enmeshed in our A's stuff we forget to take care of ourselves.

new clothes are fun and a small indulgence.

 

A postive attitude and not getting into it with the A sure makes for a more peaceful home life!

hi odaat,

good for you!  i've been apart from my ex "a" for almost 8 months now, and i am still working on not obsessing over her.  she is with someone new.  today, i'm going to try to do something i enjoy as well.  i have a bunch of papers to check, so i'm going to go to a coffee shop, and stop at some stores and check out the sales racks.  keep taking care of yourself!!

mariss

As you, I've been broken up with my ex a for almost 4 months....  I still have my moments of sadness and glimmers of hope visualizing him just showing up one day telling me he is cured and was foolish with his addiction and wants a life with me forever.  I hate those moments and have to force myself to face reality-- that he is never going to be a part of my life and I will never see him again because with the way things were if he were to be a part of my life, I wouldn't be able to pursue my education, maintain my home, my children and all else that is peaceful in my home right now.  I have to remember the pain and instability, along with anxiety that came along with our relationship to stay focused on what is healthy for myself and children as much as it hurts because I miss him so much.  :(  That is when I am able to let go though and give that pain to God and then I feel MUCH better because God knows how much I truly love this man and always will.  I take that time to give it to God and that returns some happiness and comfort inside of me with the realization of how blessed I am that I can love someone so much, yet allow him to live his life however it is he needs to live his life without me interfering because of selfishness of what I need from someone who is not capable of giving that to me.   I actually believe this has hurt me more than it hurt him by me breaking up with him, which shows growth within myself actually.  To have broken up with someone I love so much rather than continue in a relationship til the point we hate eachother is a pretty good indication that I am finally making choices that are right even if they hurt.  :)))

Hello odat,

Awww, thanks for sharing your fun/happy stuff. It brought a smile to my face. It is amazing that the alcoholic noticed too! I have found when I am calm and taking care of me, people notice too. It does prove that when we change the people around us change too.  your friend, cdb :)

we have a lot in common. I have been seperated from my a for about 6 months and It has been hard and yet very peaceful at times. I have some really bad days when I cry and miss him because I really do love him. I love him the person but not the disease. When he drinks, which is all the time I could not detach from him or the behavior. It was making me and my son physically ill. We are married 15 years and really don't know if to move forward with a divorce which I really don't want or wait to see if he will seek recovery. I just want our family back together but I don't want the alcohol. It's really tough but during this time I have been working on finishing my fourth step and that has opened my eyes to the huge part I played in this family disease of alcoholism. I caused a lot of pain and suffering. I did it - no one else. Just as the alcohol changed the alcoholic when he took his first drink so I changed when he took that first drink. Very painful write back i WOULD Love to share about parenting, etc. Do your kids go to Alateen>? In Recovery, Susan