Hi,

It is not starting out to be a good day. We have the awaited counseling tonight. My husband told me about it last night. The appointment is for 8PM and he picked one forty minutes away. I am a nervouse wreck.

Then I woke with a headache and ended up having a minor accident with the bus this morning. The back end took a mirror off a car parked on a narrow street. My boss called the police, they said it was nothing major, the bus companies mechanics will fix the mirror. I know it wasn't a big deal but I have never hit anything in all the years I have been driving a bus. My boss told me to stop beating myself up, that it happens.

I'm going to take a hot bath and try and get this day back on track. I don't know why I am so worried but I just have this horrible feeling in my stomach and head. I am not expecting anything good to come out of this, so I can't be let down, I just feel stressed out and afraid.

Hope everyone else is having a better day.

                                     Love Jeannie

Something good might come out....

something bad might come out...

something between good & bad could come of it....

You don't know....don't go in with ANY expectations.  Just go in, be honest.  Apply your al anon steps.  Go, let go, let God.    One meeting in counseling, is like one meeting in al anon.  You can't base anything on one meeting, it's just the beginning.

If you're worried of the 40 minute ride, go yourself if you can, listen to your favorite music, or go with him & listen to your favorite music.  Mediatate, or read you daily lit on the way there.

 

Hi Jeannie,

I agree with DeAnna, you can't base anything on this one meeting. 

Now that you have got all the bad stuff out of the way, the rest of the day can't help but get better, right? 

Find something that makes you smile and keep it close to your heart.  You will survive this, you've been through a lot worse.

Take care,

Bonnie

Hi,

I too am surprised he did schedule it. But I won't read too much into that, who knows why he did.

He was drunk when he told me about it, and he wants to go in one car. It scares me because by 8 he is usually drunk and I will not let him drive if he is. If he is dunk, I am just going to call and cancel.

I did look them up, they have a website, and I read about the counselors backround and credentials. Seems okay.

I just do not want to be in a car with him for 40 minutes before and after.

I have no expectations, and I will not be a whipping post. I have a busy day today, I will just get through it the best I can. I feel a little better after Tylenol and a bath, at least the headache is gone.

I will let you know how it goes.

Thanks

                          Love Jeannie

Hi Jeannie...accept it just as your boss said to do. These things happen. It could have been a lot worse. Good luck tonight at 8. You can do it. Meanwhile, take that long, hot bath with lots of suds, some candles, and some soothing music. You'll have a fresh outlook. Best to you, Diva

Hi Jeannie, relax this is a good thing finally u will get to say how u feel with a referee, hehe. Be honest tell the councelor exactlywhat has been going on be honest but not hurtfull, remember the line  say what you mean , mean what u say just don't be mean when u say it,stick to the truth and you can't go wrong.

And remember your Higer Power goes where ever you do so u are not alone. Often when going in to unfamiliar places  I look over my shoulder and say are ya here God? just part of my daily contact routine for me.

Good luck u will be fine.   Louise

 

Jeannie, Wish you the best in the counseling session tonight. Hope you can relax alittle before hand and get through those nerves. Sorry to hear about the little fender bender, or rather mirror bender this morning, these things do happen, and your boss is right dont make a big deal about it..you'll laugh bout it later on. Hope your day gets back on track and you have a good day and evening. Mark S

Hi Jeannie, First of all, good luck tonight. I can't imagine how tough this must be for you. Second, I would suggest that you take your own vehicle. Whether you drive with your husband as a passenger or you drive him is not the point. From what you have said in earlier posts, he is going to yammer at you and try to make you feel like you are the bad person here. Cancelling at this juncture will only reinforce that in his mind. Please don't allow him ANY leverage in a long car drive. Take your own car, no matter how inconvenient. It's your sanity and your feeling of well-being as you begin this counseling session that is important. You don't need to walk into the session feeling beaten up before you even get started. Let your husband show his true colors in front of the counselor, not after he's had the opportunity to vent all over you. I agree with what the others have said - take care of you, treat yourself well this afternoon and during your 40 minute drive, listen to music that inspires you and lifts your spirits. Whatever happens tonight happens and stressing over it won't change that. It could be an exercise in futility OR it could be the start of something good and cleansing. Either way, you beating yourself up, isn't going to change it. All you can do is believe in the love, prayers and support you are receiving here and also that you are going to come out of this stronger and maybe more aware. But my experience is that, stressing over things you cannot control only makes you feel worse. Concentrate on you, on feeling good about yourself, about the fact that spring is in the air and that no matter what happens tonight, YOU are taking an important and forward step in YOUR recovery. His recovery is not your concern..... Good luck to you Jeannie..... ~arwyn

Hello Jeannie,

I wish you were taking your own vehicle too. But, know that you have alot of people's positive energy with you. I agree with the above replies. They are all great! :)  Keep us updated. cdb

Good luck tonight Jeannie! I know how hard this is...been there,done that. I was terrified. Got phisically sick. Later I realized I was looking at this as the "Big Showdown" and I was afraid of all the backlash that would come my way if I stood up for myself and told the truth about how I felt. (As a doormat I was very afraid of any kind of confrontation.) Well anyway the meeting was fine. The counselor was skilled and he kept things under control so that I felt safe. The only outcome of the first meeting was that it was decided that we needed seperate appointments....whewwwww! I felt such releif! Please wrap yourslef in the love of your higher power and this fellowship as you travel over there tonight! This is just one step of many in a very long process. I wish you peace tonight. And thanks for sharing :) Sooner.

(((((((((Jeannie)))))))))))

Thinking of you it is 8:30 my time and I am senfing you good thoughts and my support. Hope all goes well.

Your friend in recovery
JJ