to keep my head in the moment.  Recently been preapproved to buy a home.  Something I have always looked forward to.  While I am happy and excited at the prospect - I am finding myself getting far ahead of myself.  I'm finding that I am going beyond just doing the legwork of this process.  I am working on this obsessively.  This came to me tonight - as I realized that for the last couple of days it has been all I do in my free time.  Tonight I really started getting uncomfortable with it all.  And that uncomfort got me to thinking why.  I realized that I was doing what I do well - forcing solutions.  I am so grateful to this program for the tools to help me become aware of my feelings.  Before I would have ignored that uncomfortable feeling.  Tonight I embraced it for it made me look at what was going on in me.  Giving me the opportunity to take a step back and become aware.  Also a reminder to me that I must turn this process over to HP, listen for the guidance, do only my part of the legwork (without overdoing it), and accept the outcome no matter what it may be.

Well first, major congrats on your legwork to get a house!!! Taking care of you, that is so cool! I am a mirror to you, I got my house loan in MY name now and my payments affordable that include taxes and insurance. Ok NOW I am working on a dependable car. Since A completely messed up my perfect credit, there will be no more walking on a lot and getting what I want that day So I was like you until this morn. Obsessed, wondering why I felt so sick about it. Then remembered, oh you idiot, surrender it!! geez. So talked to hp and I have done the footwork. Looked at all the options and have been turned down. Have one option, but it is so much interest.. yuck. Then forgot about the word cosigner. I called a good friend and told him my goals and options. He said he does not want me being taken. He will talk it over with his wife and call me. aaahhhhh surrender. Feels good. Do whatcha can and then stop. Just give it up now. I am not waiting for the phone to ring. It will happen when it does. Does this make sense? Anyway you are not alone. One day at a time. love,debilyn