My ex-husband who I am still very much involved has been going to AA for the past year. I he has been dry a few times has relapses and now been dry for about a week. At the moment he talks utterly crazy things, things that are unbelievable and done really make much sense. Has anyone else experience this or it just me. How best did you cope with you.
Melx
cdb said
Apr 7, 2005
Hello melanie,
I accidentally answered this post on your other post below. Sorry about that :) You will have to go there to read it since I am not sure how to transfer it to here. cdb
abbyal said
Apr 7, 2005
Hello, Stark Raving Sober is what I lovingly call early sobriety, my husb told me his brain would go 100 miles a min, worse than when he drank. and it lasted for 3 yrs only thing that kept him half sane was AAmeetings, luckily for me I had been going to my program for a few yrs then and had been warned about early sobriety ,so i just went to more meetings and ignored most of what was going on. If your going to have a relationship with this man u need support of a f2f al anon group who have been where your at. Good luck
jo4 said
Apr 7, 2005
hi melanie...
agree with abby. early sobriety can make you nuttier than the drinking :) but truly, this is when i jumped headfirst into my program. i tried the best that i could to put the focus on my and my program. i pictured the word 'sick' on his forehead and remembered.... we did not get sick overnight, we won't recover overnight either. i practiced detachment and virtualy ignored any hurtful comments coming out of his mouth as i knew they were really aimed at himself..........
lots of face to face and online meetings later, i am much better thanks. :) and so is he.
a work in progress, jo
AlbertaCowboy said
Apr 7, 2005
I am experiencing this right now too. It's hard for us to understand and hard to accept. But I'm grateful that I can come here and pour my hurts out and be heard and understood.
Hang in there ((((Melanie))))
Rory
jj said
Apr 8, 2005
((((((((Melanie)))))))))
I am sory I have nothing to share on this topic. I feel for you though!!! A friend sent me these links and I have found them interesting.
http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_tableofcnt.cfm
The above site is the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous which can be read online. Should you print it--- be prepared for its 164 pages...LOL Bookmark it . There is a secont there on To the wives.
The part to the wives is interesting!!
http://www.sobercity.com/resources.cfm
this has lots of info for the alcoholic. Search out whole site for some good stuff in here.
My thoughts and prayers
Love in recovery JJ
megan said
Apr 8, 2005
Ha!
I just got the big book from Amazon and I read the "To the Wives Chapter" last night.
It was very interesting and timely although it was written in the 1930's.
I will read more of the big book before putting it on hubby's nightstand with the "living sober" book I bought also as recommended by a friend on this site.
My A (husband) is sober 8 days - his count. he asked me for some reading materials such as I have but for him. So I ordered the books...
Stark raving sober, I can relate.
Last night when shopping for groceries I mentioned an incident involving washing cars at our apartment complex. My A looked at me as though we had not discussed this before -and we had..I guess he was in a blackout when we talked..... I let it slide.
Later in the evening we were watching TV and he brought up a conversation that I supposedly had on a dinner out with family that I had supposedly told him - utter nonsense.... At first I refuted it but realized the futility of it..... So I was tired and went to bed
Just a little patience.....
he is making lists of things to do each day. I added a special one for him to do - be nice to yourself....
Thanks for listening
megan
jj said
Apr 8, 2005
WOW Megan You sound like you are doing well in this hard time. I especially like your addition to his list "be kind to yourself". He is lucky to have you.
Its cool that we both read the same part of the blue book lastnight and as I thought of Melanie's post I wanted to share that part with her as I assumung you were going to too. lol..
Melanie when you get back to this I hope that you find some answers to your questions. And some peace of mind.
Love your friend JJ
wallsal55 said
Apr 8, 2005
At alanon meetings, there may be a booklet called "Living With Sobriety". It is available through www.alanon.org click on publications or literature. Sometimes, it takes weeks, months, or a year for the cobwebs to clear from the alcoholic brain. Some alcoholics always have behaviors, but for the most part if they are not working a program.
This is a very frustrating time for us. I know, I went through it in 1986, when it took my husband's brain 2 weeks to clear. After his relapse and six more years of drinking, it has taken a little over a year and recommitting to going back to meetings. If he doesn't attend meetings or read literature--behaviors come out of the woodwork. Hope this Helps! Take care of you!
Hello melanie,
I accidentally answered this post on your other post below. Sorry about that :) You will have to go there to read it since I am not sure how to transfer it to here. cdb
hi melanie...
agree with abby. early sobriety can make you nuttier than the drinking :) but truly, this is when i jumped headfirst into my program. i tried the best that i could to put the focus on my and my program. i pictured the word 'sick' on his forehead and remembered.... we did not get sick overnight, we won't recover overnight either. i practiced detachment and virtualy ignored any hurtful comments coming out of his mouth as i knew they were really aimed at himself..........
lots of face to face and online meetings later, i am much better thanks. :) and so is he.
a work in progress, jo
I am experiencing this right now too. It's hard for us to understand and hard to accept. But I'm grateful that I can come here and pour my hurts out and be heard and understood.
Hang in there ((((Melanie))))
Rory
((((((((Melanie)))))))))
I am sory I have nothing to share on this topic. I feel for you though!!! A friend sent me these links and I have found them interesting.
http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_tableofcnt.cfm The above site is the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous which can be read online. Should you print it--- be prepared for its 164 pages...LOL Bookmark it . There is a secont there on To the wives. The part to the wives is interesting!! http://www.sobercity.com/resources.cfm this has lots of info for the alcoholic. Search out whole site for some good stuff in here. My thoughts and prayers Love in recovery JJHa!
I just got the big book from Amazon and I read the "To the Wives Chapter" last night.
It was very interesting and timely although it was written in the 1930's.
I will read more of the big book before putting it on hubby's nightstand with the "living sober" book I bought also as recommended by a friend on this site.
My A (husband) is sober 8 days - his count. he asked me for some reading materials such as I have but for him. So I ordered the books...
Stark raving sober, I can relate.
Last night when shopping for groceries I mentioned an incident involving washing cars at our apartment complex. My A looked at me as though we had not discussed this before -and we had..I guess he was in a blackout when we talked..... I let it slide.
Later in the evening we were watching TV and he brought up a conversation that I supposedly had on a dinner out with family that I had supposedly told him - utter nonsense.... At first I refuted it but realized the futility of it..... So I was tired and went to bed
Just a little patience.....
he is making lists of things to do each day. I added a special one for him to do - be nice to yourself....
Thanks for listening
megan
WOW Megan You sound like you are doing well in this hard time. I especially like your addition to his list "be kind to yourself". He is lucky to have you.
Its cool that we both read the same part of the blue book lastnight and as I thought of Melanie's post I wanted to share that part with her as I assumung you were going to too. lol..
Melanie when you get back to this I hope that you find some answers to your questions. And some peace of mind.
Love your friend JJ
At alanon meetings, there may be a booklet called "Living With Sobriety". It is available through www.alanon.org click on publications or literature. Sometimes, it takes weeks, months, or a year for the cobwebs to clear from the alcoholic brain. Some alcoholics always have behaviors, but for the most part if they are not working a program.
This is a very frustrating time for us.
I know, I went through it in 1986, when it took my husband's brain 2 weeks to clear. After his relapse and six more years of drinking, it has taken a little over a year and recommitting to going back to meetings. If he doesn't attend meetings or read literature--behaviors come out of the woodwork. Hope this Helps! Take care of you!