"We aren't perfect....After a while, you'll discover that though you may not like all of us, you'll love us in a very special way - the same way we already love you. Talk to each other, reason things out with someone else, but let there be no gossip or criticism of one another. Instead, let the understanding, love, and peace of the program grow in you one day at a time." This quote is from "How Al-Anon Works for Families and Friends of alchoholics." 

I have been in al-anon for many years.  I have been to many different meetings and met many different people.  We all have many different personalities.  But the one thing we all have in common, is we have been affected by the disease of alcoholism. We come to alanon for comfort and support.  With all these different personalities come different opinions and different actions.  Sometimes I don't like those actions, sometimes I don't like the people. But something I learned early on in my recovery is that I can learn something from people that I don't like and I can respect their opinions.  I don't have to gossip about them to other members and make mean comments about them.  I can respect them for who they are. I can agree to disagree. "We aren't perfect."  I am here to continue to recover, not take someone else's fourth step inventory.  That's not my job, it belongs to their HP and to them.

The last part of that quote is "Instead, let the understanding, love, and peace of the program grow in you one day at a time." I am grateful for this program, it has saved my life many times. Let's not let gossip ruin the beauty of the recovery we seek.  Much Love, SenoraBob

How true.

i try very hard to be open minded.

I try very hard not to give advice but I slip.

Sometimes I will read a post and think - what the heck? And then...I will stew on it and some meaning and relevance will be revealed to me.

 

 

Thanks to all for being here

Well said ((((Bob))))!  I have only been in Al-Anon for 1  year now.  One of the greatest things I have learned is to listen.  Listen to everyone.  I might not always like what they have to say, I might not even like the way they say it......but I have found that if I listen with an open mind and try to focus on what is being said rather than who is saying it.... I almost always learn something I need to know.

Thanks for your post. 

David

Hola ((((Senora)))),

I loved your share, thank you.  I so agree and love the preamble and meeting closings.  As they roll, I say them in my heart and hope they stay with me as we grow and recover.

Maria

"....Talk to each other, reason things out with someone else, but let there be no gossip or criticism of one another. Instead, let the understanding, love, and peace of the program grow in you one day at a time." Wanted to share on these 2 sentences. I have been here now, wow, 8 months. Anyways, in my time here, i havent noticed this taking place too often, when people are at a disagreement about something, and are arguing back and forth. We are all mature individuals, and are capable of having a rational and calm discussion about a disagreement. While we are all at different places in the program, this is impotant to your recovery, learning, and practicing having a rational discussion even if we are upset. Gossip is an easy way to start division. I personally HATE gossip. It tears good friends apart, and can damage your sanity and serenity as well as others in the room. As alanoners, we owe it to ourselves, as well as others in the group not to engage in this dangerous activity. It is true that you may not like all of what is sayed, but alanon is a place free of judgement on people, so if you disagree with someone on something, that is fine, but it does not mean that you cannot be civil. I like coming to MIP, it was where I really began to understand the program, and I would hate to wake up and one day feel like everyone is talking about me behind my back. It is possible that some do feel this way, and it may or may not be true. Let us all try to let the understanding, love, and peace of the program show through a little more in our actions. Ty all for bein here. Buzzfree

-- Edited by buzzfree at 01:29, 2005-04-07