Is there any readings you can recommend on this subject?
this is exactly what is going on in my marriage.
It is even more powerfully important than the booze I think to my husband
My husband has again quit drinking and I really think it is because I started spending nights at the local hotel and weekends with family and friends.
Our entire marriage he has been controlling and as I gained my own money and bank account it really needled him.
he offered to help me buy a truck but is now dragging his heels (more independence for me) I will do this anyway - I did listen to his tips...
This is an area that I would really like to explore - the power and control.
Even though he has become sober (for now I am sure) I still want to have the strength to do things on my own, without him up my butt....
Ever since he stopped drinking last Wednesday it is as though he needs to know even if I sneeze. And he is so hard seeking validation that I still love him, odd.
Last night he complained I had started drinking a soda and left it unfinished and I told him off.
before that I would have been oh, well sorry.....
So any readings for power and control isues?
abbyal said
Apr 5, 2005
Hello , alcoholics are very insecure people,especially newly sober ones, there is not much u can do about that ,it is his problem to deal with. And control has always been the name of the game , just keep doing what your doing , getting your life back one step at a time , answer his insesent questions about where your going ,this is really not worth arguing about . Today I pick my arguments carfully and the slogan How Important Is It? Treat him with respect , because it will make u feel better. (even if u feel he dosen't derserve it ) : )
Sobriety is not easy , maybe add an extra meeting to your week. Just keep the focus on yourself , God will take care of him.
sanddie said
Apr 5, 2005
I would recommend searching the internet for dymanics of domestic violence. The cycle of Power and Control in relationships. I have some information from the training I've done with a shelter, but not sure if it actually referenced any specific material for reading. You should be able to find much about it by surfing the net using those key words.
Take Care! :)
cdb said
Apr 5, 2005
Hello megan,
In the back of the daily reading alanon books are lists of what pages have what subjects. You can look there to see if any apply to what you want to learn. Also, at the main page here is a list of alanon books. If you go to a bookstore site you can also do a search there on books that have that subject matter or check at your local library. Just some tips I thought of. cdb :)
Is there any readings you can recommend on this subject?
this is exactly what is going on in my marriage.
It is even more powerfully important than the booze I think to my husband
My husband has again quit drinking and I really think it is because I started spending nights at the local hotel and weekends with family and friends.
Our entire marriage he has been controlling and as I gained my own money and bank account it really needled him.
he offered to help me buy a truck but is now dragging his heels (more independence for me) I will do this anyway - I did listen to his tips...
This is an area that I would really like to explore - the power and control.
Even though he has become sober (for now I am sure) I still want to have the strength to do things on my own, without him up my butt....
Ever since he stopped drinking last Wednesday it is as though he needs to know even if I sneeze. And he is so hard seeking validation that I still love him, odd.
Last night he complained I had started drinking a soda and left it unfinished and I told him off.
before that I would have been oh, well sorry.....
So any readings for power and control isues?
Hello , alcoholics are very insecure people,especially newly sober ones, there is not much u can do about that ,it is his problem to deal with. And control has always been the name of the game , just keep doing what your doing , getting your life back one step at a time , answer his insesent questions about where your going ,this is really not worth arguing about . Today I pick my arguments carfully and the slogan How Important Is It? Treat him with respect , because it will make u feel better. (even if u feel he dosen't derserve it ) : )
Sobriety is not easy , maybe add an extra meeting to your week. Just keep the focus on yourself , God will take care of him.
I would recommend searching the internet for dymanics of domestic violence. The cycle of Power and Control in relationships. I have some information from the training I've done with a shelter, but not sure if it actually referenced any specific material for reading. You should be able to find much about it by surfing the net using those key words.
Take Care! :)
Hello megan,
In the back of the daily reading alanon books are lists of what pages have what subjects. You can look there to see if any apply to what you want to learn. Also, at the main page here is a list of alanon books. If you go to a bookstore site you can also do a search there on books that have that subject matter or check at your local library. Just some tips I thought of. cdb :)