Hi i met a man three weeks ago that is 5 months sober. He goes to aa meetings.We are just starting to "date",build a friendship. Is there anything i can do to encourage or help him in his recovery??My moms been in the program 27 years (aa).dads still a drinking alcoholic so i'm not new to any of this. Just never been an adult during someones recovery and wondered what i can do to help rather than hinder situation............
shimo said
Apr 5, 2005
Hi Chris,
As you know, we do not give advice here in Al-Anon. In my experience it is always in my best interest to take care of myself in any given situation. I cannot do anything that will "hinder" or "help" someone else in their recovery as that is their business and not mine. The only thing I can do is keep myself on my recovery path. If I happen to get over into the business of someone else in any way (and that still happens sometimes), I have taken the focus off myself and put it on someone else. When this happens to me, I lose my serenity. The good thing for me is - because I attend Al-Anon f2f meetings and the meetings here on-line, I am much more aware of when I am trying to step into someone else's recovery or lack thereof, and I can take steps to bring the focus back to myself...and that is where my focus belongs.
Love in recovery - Shimo (Jeri)
De Anna said
Apr 5, 2005
You've mentioned you're not new, but do you belong to an al anon group? You will find your guidance in al anon. If you feel you don't belong, check out a face to face meeting anyway, then you'll know where your place is.
jj said
Apr 5, 2005
Chris, Welcome.
I recently have had the most wonderful oppertunity to meet a woman who is very active in alanon and her husband is an active member in AA. They together are the most wonderful couple I have ever seen. They are both very open and honest with their relationship and her being in alanon alone is support to him. I have been blessed to meet the two of them!!!
Keep comming back
JJ
abbyal said
Apr 5, 2005
Hello Chris, to me the best way to support our A is to find our own program . I am sure your mom has told you that your not responsible for keeping him sober ,nor would u be responsible if he chose to drink again. Drunk or sober living with an alcoholic can be difficult at the best of times and with out this prog i would not have survived sobriety, and he probably wouldn't have either . hehe I have been attendig meetings for 19 yrs now and husb is sober for 16 with a lot of help from AA.
Good luck try our prog for a few months and see how u feel then. Louise
Hi Chris,
As you know, we do not give advice here in Al-Anon. In my experience it is always in my best interest to take care of myself in any given situation. I cannot do anything that will "hinder" or "help" someone else in their recovery as that is their business and not mine. The only thing I can do is keep myself on my recovery path. If I happen to get over into the business of someone else in any way (and that still happens sometimes), I have taken the focus off myself and put it on someone else. When this happens to me, I lose my serenity. The good thing for me is - because I attend Al-Anon f2f meetings and the meetings here on-line, I am much more aware of when I am trying to step into someone else's recovery or lack thereof, and I can take steps to bring the focus back to myself...and that is where my focus belongs.
Love in recovery - Shimo (Jeri)
Chris, Welcome.
I recently have had the most wonderful oppertunity to meet a woman who is very active in alanon and her husband is an active member in AA. They together are the most wonderful couple I have ever seen. They are both very open and honest with their relationship and her being in alanon alone is support to him. I have been blessed to meet the two of them!!!
Keep comming back
JJ
Hello Chris, to me the best way to support our A is to find our own program . I am sure your mom has told you that your not responsible for keeping him sober ,nor would u be responsible if he chose to drink again. Drunk or sober living with an alcoholic can be difficult at the best of times and with out this prog i would not have survived sobriety, and he probably wouldn't have either . hehe I have been attendig meetings for 19 yrs now and husb is sober for 16 with a lot of help from AA.
Good luck try our prog for a few months and see how u feel then. Louise