God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the knowledge to know the difference.
It is my Ah's Birthday and he just got home right lit up, just another day in the life of Stacey!!! Any excuse to go out and it could be absolutly nothing!!!
Well I see his driver leave and his truck is still out side and to my amazement he is in the drivers seat and about to drive right into the back of my truck!!!! HE WAS NOT EVEN LOOKING WHERE HE WAS GOING!!!!! Yes I am right mad and could just yell but I am not!!!! I parked his truck and he yells and screams does he forget he has kids??? GOD Grant me the serenity!!!!please. He has smashed up my truck 2 time in the last few months and now looking like a piece of sh!t and of course he has the nice new truck.
Now he is banging on the floor and telling me to take the shovel out of my ass, because I once again told him to be quiet. He also mentioned since I am egnoring him that he is having a party next weekend. GRRRRR I am just going to go away and hire a maid for friday and sunday. I can't take being host another weekend man o man it is every other weekend.
He must have been drinking hard liquor tonight, thoes nights are the bad ones. Blaa Blaa Blaa!!!
TG he passed out! on the kitchen floor, nice cold tile floor. Right now I am hopping he freezes his ass off!! Maybe I open the door and let some cold air in. LOL I won't but have thought of it many times.
Sory for going on I used this as my escape. TY for this board
Love JEN
cdb said
Apr 5, 2005
Hello jj,
You did not go on too much,,never worry about that. You need to type until you feel it is time to stop. ((((((((((supportive hugs)))))))))) No one needs this type of thing in their life. It sounds like you handled it the best way you knew how. It is always a great benefit to come here for support and to vent. I really do feel for you...I really do.
Alcoholism is such a horrible, awful disease. I relate to the hard liquor stuff too. Not with my daughter but with my son who still parties and drinks. I sure can tell the difference in his behavior when he arrives home on the weekends when he visits if he drank hard liquor or not.
It is hard to type take care of you and one day at a time when this is happening. This is such a progressive disease too. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers tonight,,,as well as your entire family. For some reason I still do have compassion for the alcoholics. So, I do not give up hope on them.
Do whatever you can to calm yourself, to think clearly and not become part of the insanity. your friend in recovery, cdb ((((((jj))))))
jj said
Apr 5, 2005
ROLF I did go on...I was typing as he was yapping trying my hardest not to be pulled in.
Ty ((((cdb)))) Love you
Your friend JJ
sanddie said
Apr 5, 2005
haha, I like the, "nice cold tile floor. Right now I am hopping he freezes his ass off!! Maybe I open the door and let some cold air in. LOL I won't but have thought of it many times" statement and your LOL in there. It is a great release to be able to completed express ourselves AND then as we are, we can get to the point in how you explained the nice cold floor and actually laugh because it's times like this that can truly help us realize how stupid it really is and NOTHING to do with us... :))
You're doing GREAT--hang in there and just keep thinking about that "nice cold tile floor", that has to be so uncomfortable to him. Sheeeesh!
I must admit that I got out before I was able to experience those types of episodes with my ex of 12 years because of all the abuse towards me. I cannot imagine my ex ever passing out like that because he portrayed himself as being superior to me and always in control of every situation in his life, including me. For him to pass out on a "nice cold tile floor" would have been worth sticking around for after all the abuse. I think I would have opened the door back then-- actually I know I would have... haha He wouldn't have dared to do such a thing though because then it would show his weakness. Something he definitely wouldn't want to portray towards me.
It's interesting because I hear from my kids that he does that now in his new marriage of 6 years. I guess his strength is weakening-- received two OWI's over the past couple of years, in which due to technicalities he got off on an appeal-- AMAZING that some lawyers distort the truth to make money... One of my favorite movies is The Devil's Advocate. :)
Anyway, I'm the one rambling on here-- I really think it's great that you chose to write and talk to everyone while this was occuring. Keep laughter in there somewhere, it's good for the soul. Take Care!
cloud said
Apr 5, 2005
jj You never go on to much when you need to et it out holding it in is the worst we can do, I would have slid him out side on the cold ground LOL but that is me cant come home sober cant come in!!!! I had to go to the courts and say my husband needed treatment and to far gone to notice that on his own and took action and filed a sec. on him and got him into a rehab he faced jail time for probations and all have done many outpatient treatments and now finally a detox and rehab inpatient spent 10days in and just got discharged on SAT so 13 days sober and if it is only 5 min thank god ! I went to more AA meetings LOL in the past 2 days cause he asked me to and lastnight the went around the room hi I am blah blah I said Hi my name is Rae Ann and I am Davids wife and I am here for support in my husbands early recovery and much to my surprise they welcomed me and out of the whole hall only 2 of us were not A's or addicts, was a little uncomfortable, but a girl shared how her boyfriend went back to old ways and how she had thinking of cant beat them join them so she got to a meeting, I spoke to her after the meeting and I said I can relate to your hurt of seeing someone you love relapse, but someone who loves you has watched the same thing, in our program I told her we also are powerless and one needs to carry their own way, I told her your main focus is you as AA has taught you we would advise you the same, if we can not take care of us we can not take care of them turn it over to HP as you have done in your recovery from alcohol and let him do the rest, she hugged me and said she never realised how much pain this causes on both sides, I gave her my number and said call me if you need someone on my side, We love all people. I feel in your heart you know that we can not control behavior of our A's but we can set boundries that help us not fail in our recovery, you have many tools use them with HP and you will win!!!! (((((((((((((((jj))))))))))))))))))) It is gods will take care LOVE CLOUD I have only been in the program 2 months and you all give me tools and how to gabout applying them we will make it ODAT
cloud said
Apr 5, 2005
Sorry for my misspelling in my prev. post been up with my 5 yr old sick lastnight Peace and sernity Love Cloud
lin0606 said
Apr 5, 2005
Ha! I used to pray my A would pass out, but he never did, just went on and on.....
You're right to vent here - this is the place, rather than yell at and try to reason with a drunk. I also like the idea of going away for his party, rather than staying and being mad. Be even better if HE was the one to hire the maid!
Take care of yourself, take care of your kids, let him go his way. If you can, try to love him in the moments when he is lovable, ignore him in the others. Detachment is one of our gretest gifts.
megan said
Apr 5, 2005
RRRRR I am just going to go away and hire a maid for friday and sunday. I can't take being host another weekend man o man it is every other weekend.
Planning. Good for you JJ. We do have choices and it opens our whole world up. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result......
It sure is hard to feel any compassion or kindness when someone rips us apart...
Keep taking care of you....
De Anna said
Apr 5, 2005
It is wise of you to vent here rather than at him. I here your frustration, & anger. That's good you're going away. Don't view it as running away but reaching for a better weekend with your peace, lit, and whatever makes you find serenity.
Jeannie said
Apr 5, 2005
quote:Originally posted by: sanddie -- AMAZING that some lawyers distort the truth to make money... One of my favorite movies is The Devil's Advocate. :)"
You mentined that and I was reminded of a very high priced Attorney that was in the area where I live. He was known as one of the best in the state for getting drunk drivers off on technicalities, or having the charges reduced to just clerical offenses. (He got my own husband off on DWI charges 4 times, his parents paid for him as they considered him the best). He kept more drunk drivers on the road than all the others around here put together.
He was killed a little over a year ago,in a car accident caused by a drunk driver. It was in his Obituary that he was one of the States leading defenders of alcoholic related driving offenses. I feel it is very ironic and very sad.
Love Jeannie
jj said
Apr 5, 2005
Yes Jeannie it is sad and ironic.
I went off and did something kind of wrong in many's eyes but the little joker and bad girl came out of me. I have always been threatening my AH that when he passed out on night I would paint his nails and put make up on him and well I DID. Gezz I am still giggeling about it I had so much fun!!! I know, I know that I shoudn't have. The prankster in me was screaming to come out and I just gave in to temptation. It felt good to be the old me not afraid of anything and I have a feeling of ME back for today.
Love JJ
Jeannie said
Apr 5, 2005
JJ
Thanks for the laugh! The way Ilook at it we are all entitled to be a little bad sometimes.
You didn't hurt anyone, just caused a little mischief
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the knowledge to know the difference.
It is my Ah's Birthday and he just got home right lit up, just another day in the life of Stacey!!! Any excuse to go out and it could be absolutly nothing!!!
Well I see his driver leave and his truck is still out side and to my amazement he is in the drivers seat and about to drive right into the back of my truck!!!! HE WAS NOT EVEN LOOKING WHERE HE WAS GOING!!!!! Yes I am right mad and could just yell but I am not!!!! I parked his truck and he yells and screams does he forget he has kids??? GOD Grant me the serenity!!!!please. He has smashed up my truck 2 time in the last few months and now looking like a piece of sh!t and of course he has the nice new truck.
Now he is banging on the floor and telling me to take the shovel out of my ass, because I once again told him to be quiet. He also mentioned since I am egnoring him that he is having a party next weekend. GRRRRR I am just going to go away and hire a maid for friday and sunday. I can't take being host another weekend man o man it is every other weekend.
He must have been drinking hard liquor tonight, thoes nights are the bad ones. Blaa Blaa Blaa!!!
TG he passed out! on the kitchen floor, nice cold tile floor. Right now I am hopping he freezes his ass off!! Maybe I open the door and let some cold air in. LOL I won't but have thought of it many times.
Sory for going on I used this as my escape. TY for this board
Love JEN
Hello jj,
You did not go on too much,,never worry about that. You need to type until you feel it is time to stop. ((((((((((supportive hugs)))))))))) No one needs this type of thing in their life. It sounds like you handled it the best way you knew how. It is always a great benefit to come here for support and to vent. I really do feel for you...I really do.
Alcoholism is such a horrible, awful disease. I relate to the hard liquor stuff too. Not with my daughter but with my son who still parties and drinks. I sure can tell the difference in his behavior when he arrives home on the weekends when he visits if he drank hard liquor or not.
It is hard to type take care of you and one day at a time when this is happening. This is such a progressive disease too. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers tonight,,,as well as your entire family. For some reason I still do have compassion for the alcoholics. So, I do not give up hope on them.
Do whatever you can to calm yourself, to think clearly and not become part of the insanity. your friend in recovery, cdb ((((((jj))))))
ROLF I did go on...I was typing as he was yapping trying my hardest not to be pulled in.
Ty ((((cdb)))) Love you
Your friend JJ
haha, I like the, "nice cold tile floor. Right now I am hopping he freezes his ass off!! Maybe I open the door and let some cold air in. LOL I won't but have thought of it many times" statement and your LOL in there. It is a great release to be able to completed express ourselves AND then as we are, we can get to the point in how you explained the nice cold floor and actually laugh because it's times like this that can truly help us realize how stupid it really is and NOTHING to do with us... :))
You're doing GREAT--hang in there and just keep thinking about that "nice cold tile floor", that has to be so uncomfortable to him. Sheeeesh!
I must admit that I got out before I was able to experience those types of episodes with my ex of 12 years because of all the abuse towards me. I cannot imagine my ex ever passing out like that because he portrayed himself as being superior to me and always in control of every situation in his life, including me. For him to pass out on a "nice cold tile floor" would have been worth sticking around for after all the abuse. I think I would have opened the door back then-- actually I know I would have... haha He wouldn't have dared to do such a thing though because then it would show his weakness. Something he definitely wouldn't want to portray towards me.
It's interesting because I hear from my kids that he does that now in his new marriage of 6 years. I guess his strength is weakening-- received two OWI's over the past couple of years, in which due to technicalities he got off on an appeal-- AMAZING that some lawyers distort the truth to make money... One of my favorite movies is The Devil's Advocate. :)
Anyway, I'm the one rambling on here-- I really think it's great that you chose to write and talk to everyone while this was occuring. Keep laughter in there somewhere, it's good for the soul. Take Care!
jj You never go on to much when you need to et it out holding it in is the worst we can do, I would have slid him out side on the cold ground LOL but that is me cant come home sober cant come in!!!! I had to go to the courts and say my husband needed treatment and to far gone to notice that on his own and took action and filed a sec. on him and got him into a rehab he faced jail time for probations and all have done many outpatient treatments and now finally a detox and rehab inpatient spent 10days in and just got discharged on SAT so 13 days sober and if it is only 5 min thank god ! I went to more AA meetings LOL in the past 2 days cause he asked me to and lastnight the went around the room hi I am blah blah I said Hi my name is Rae Ann and I am Davids wife and I am here for support in my husbands early recovery and much to my surprise they welcomed me and out of the whole hall only 2 of us were not A's or addicts, was a little uncomfortable, but a girl shared how her boyfriend went back to old ways and how she had thinking of cant beat them join them so she got to a meeting, I spoke to her after the meeting and I said I can relate to your hurt of seeing someone you love relapse, but someone who loves you has watched the same thing, in our program I told her we also are powerless and one needs to carry their own way, I told her your main focus is you as AA has taught you we would advise you the same, if we can not take care of us we can not take care of them turn it over to HP as you have done in your recovery from alcohol and let him do the rest, she hugged me and said she never realised how much pain this causes on both sides, I gave her my number and said call me if you need someone on my side, We love all people. I feel in your heart you know that we can not control behavior of our A's but we can set boundries that help us not fail in our recovery, you have many tools use them with HP and you will win!!!! (((((((((((((((jj))))))))))))))))))) It is gods will take care LOVE CLOUD I have only been in the program 2 months and you all give me tools and how to gabout applying them we will make it ODAT
RRRRR I am just going to go away and hire a maid for friday and sunday. I can't take being host another weekend man o man it is every other weekend.
Planning. Good for you JJ. We do have choices and it opens our whole world up. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result......
It sure is hard to feel any compassion or kindness when someone rips us apart...
Keep taking care of you....
You mentined that and I was reminded of a very high priced Attorney that was in the area where I live. He was known as one of the best in the state for getting drunk drivers off on technicalities, or having the charges reduced to just clerical offenses. (He got my own husband off on DWI charges 4 times, his parents paid for him as they considered him the best). He kept more drunk drivers on the road than all the others around here put together.
He was killed a little over a year ago,in a car accident caused by a drunk driver. It was in his Obituary that he was one of the States leading defenders of alcoholic related driving offenses. I feel it is very ironic and very sad.
Love Jeannie
Yes Jeannie it is sad and ironic.
I went off and did something kind of wrong in many's eyes but the little joker and bad girl
came out of me. I have always been threatening my AH that when he passed out on night I would paint his nails and put make up on him and well I DID. Gezz I am still giggeling about it I had so much fun!!! I know, I know that I shoudn't have. The prankster in me was screaming to come out and I just gave in to temptation. It felt good to be the old me not afraid of anything and I have a feeling of ME back for today.
Love JJ
JJ
Thanks for the laugh! The way Ilook at it we are all entitled to be a little bad sometimes.
You didn't hurt anyone, just caused a little mischief
Love Jeannie