Hi all,
I recently had a very spiritual experience and lesson with going through my feelings with a friend instead of around and want to share it here.
I have a very dear friend in program with whom I spend a lot of time with. We just "get" each other and have great talks, laughs, etc. Anyhow, last week I got really jealous because she was spending time with another friend and we spent a week avoiding each other and feeling bad.
We ended up talking it out and just the act of talking helped the situation. I admitted that I don't trust her on some level yet since we haven't known each other yet a year. This admission was HUGE for me since I never want to put myself out there in an authentic way first. Abandonment issues galore.
Anyhow, I sobbed my way through my feelings and my truth and she listened. And I was open enough to hear her stuff too. Consequently, we are closer than ever and have more trust for each other because we chose to deal with the issue instead of ignore it.
This is new stuff for me guys. It was so scary but the reward was so great. This whole situation has been a major lesson in allowing myself to have faith in my HP and the value of living life on life's terms today.
Love and hugs,
Jessi
dot said
Apr 2, 2005
Hi jessi - Thank you for sharing your ESH. One more time the program at work in our lives.
Trust for us is very hard - how great that you've found someone who is worth your trust.
Love and hugs - Dot
De Anna said
Apr 2, 2005
it feels good to feel good, doesn't it? Nice share.
cdb said
Apr 3, 2005
Hello jessi,
It sounds like you now know what a true friend is. I have friends like this and they are very valuable to me. Even when they move far away a person can talk to them maybe once a year or for me even longer and it seems like we only saw each other the day before. Friendships do change and the true friends are always there through the changes. Friendships still get into disagreements but will resolve them when the time is right. Friendships give each other the time each needs for space when it is necessary. And the most important one I have learned is that friendships will stay with you when the worst of things happens in your life when other so-called friends abandon you. At least this is what I have learned and believe about true friends. A person does only need one true friend too. So many people think a person needs lots of friends for security or some reason or another. True friends are a blessing. Our HP/God is also a friend. That is what I finally realized at the times when I did feel abandoned. Thanks for your post and for sharing. your friend in recovery, cdb :)
buzzfree said
Apr 4, 2005
Jessi
Thank you for your post. Often times, what seems the most painful, and difficult for us, is what we need to do. The program has really helped me to see this, all of the things that I kept inside for many years, I am trying to address, and come to terms with, so that I can move on towards a more fulfiling life for myself (following HP's will for me). It is in those times of uncertainty that we find out who our true friends are. I am glad that you have a new "true" friend.
Buzzfree
jj said
Apr 4, 2005
Jessie, I have only ever had one true friend. We have been friends 17 1/2 years. It has not been easy and we have been through alot together and actually both members of alanon which we do together. We had a huge falling out a few years ago and found our way back to each other but have never actually dealt with the one incident we did "go around" it. We have both realized that this is something that we need to confront head on and actually working my step 4 I did write her a letter about it and she knows this. We have decuided to finish our step 4 and do this letter thing and discuss it over a backyard fire and when all is said and done and we have gotten through this together we plan to burn our step 4 writings and the letters to each other. I believe that this will be cleansing and am excuited to finish all of this.
This friend and I believe that our HP's were with us long ago when we met all thoes years ago and to be in the situations with our AH's together we have found that there was truely reasons things happened in our lives that have lead us to this moment in time.
Hello jessi,
It sounds like you now know what a true friend is. I have friends like this and they are very valuable to me. Even when they move far away a person can talk to them maybe once a year or for me even longer and it seems like we only saw each other the day before. Friendships do change and the true friends are always there through the changes. Friendships still get into disagreements but will resolve them when the time is right. Friendships give each other the time each needs for space when it is necessary. And the most important one I have learned is that friendships will stay with you when the worst of things happens in your life when other so-called friends abandon you. At least this is what I have learned and believe about true friends. A person does only need one true friend too. So many people think a person needs lots of friends for security or some reason or another. True friends are a blessing. Our HP/God is also a friend. That is what I finally realized at the times when I did feel abandoned. Thanks for your post and for sharing. your friend in recovery, cdb :)
Jessie, I have only ever had one true friend. We have been friends 17 1/2 years. It has not been easy and we have been through alot together and actually both members of alanon which we do together. We had a huge falling out a few years ago and found our way back to each other but have never actually dealt with the one incident we did "go around" it. We have both realized that this is something that we need to confront head on and actually working my step 4 I did write her a letter about it and she knows this. We have decuided to finish our step 4 and do this letter thing and discuss it over a backyard fire and when all is said and done and we have gotten through this together we plan to burn our step 4 writings and the letters to each other. I believe that this will be cleansing and am excuited to finish all of this.
This friend and I believe that our HP's were with us long ago when we met all thoes years ago and to be in the situations with our AH's together we have found that there was truely reasons things happened in our lives that have lead us to this moment in time.
Take care JJ