Hey everyone

Just a wee update on situation at home.  Big changes ahead, future uncertain, but thats OK with me.  Our beautiful family home in 'Green Bay'  (Yes its as lovely as it sounds) has sold and the new owners cant wait to move in next Friday grrrrrr.

A is moving to the other end of the country to live happily ever after in the country side he is taking his truck, his cds, the stereo, TV and his clothes.  He has no home to go to, no job to go to, and doesn't know a soul there.  But the town he is moving to is a lovely coastal town so you never know.

Son (3) and I have decided to stay put in city (Auckland, New Zealand) for the moment and have rented a cute little 2 beddy house just 2 streets away from where we are now.  Big moving day is this Thursday, $$$ are gonna be tight but thats Ok too.

I decided to stay put as I have a great job here, close friends, 2 sisters close by, mum & dad only a few hours away and I like it here!

A was confident he didn't care about what we did and he was going to ride off in to the sunset and PLEASE HIMSELF from now on and DO WHAT HE WANTS TO DO WHEN HE WANTS TO DO IT - OK fine with me, that was last week, this week he is scared about being lonely and missing us???????? Boy what a turn around this disease can be so confusing!

Anyways he says Can I come and stay with you until the money from the sale of the house comes through?  Grrrrrrr

Feeling bit nervous about changes but think I will be Ok thanks to all here and those in my f2f

Love you all

Ava

Hi Ava - How typical of the a to change his mind when he realized you will be ok without him. Enjoy your new home and what'll ya bet he comes back soon or stays there with you and doesn't go at all. One day at a time and stay with your program. You'll be ok. Love in recovery - Dot (((((((((((Ava))))))))))

Ava, I am so inspired and proud of you for moving ahead with your life and your son's life. Your share really gives me hope that faith in my HP will move me forward instead of sitting in my fear of change... I also agree that it is typical for an A to change his/her mind after they see us moving on and not falling apart without them. Keep going to meetings and figure out what boundaries work best for YOU in your fresh start on life. Maybe you won't allow him to stay? Maybe he needs to pay some rent? Perhaps you say no drinking in YOUR home? Just a few suggestions... Whatever you decide, I have every confidence you will be okay in the hands of your HP. Love and hugs, Jessi

Hello Ava , well they are just like boomerangs they keep commin back. sheeeesh Just another lesson in how we are not the problem, give em what they want (freedom) and they still not happy, poor guy I feel for them. separation can sometimes be the best thing that ever happened  to you, gives u time to focus on your own needs and wants and him time to rethink a decission. you never know whats going to happen ava , just keep the focus on yourself and your son, use your alone time to recover and remember that what ever happens you will be ok regardless of what he is doing.   good luck  Louise