I am in a horible mood. Its my Birthday tomorrow and it is always so upsetting for me and of course it began tonight. My husbands friend called me (his birthday too) and told me that my husband has crashed on his couch as he had celebrated the friends birthday pretty hard. So I wont even get a goodmorning bday kiss 

I have planned for tomorrow to spend most of the day with my Sister in law who is also my closest friend just the 2 of us and no one else is allowed to come. I hope we have fun.

My sister also informed me that my brother planns on telling mom and dad this weekend about his HIV which I am both pissed of and happy about..... like lets just see how awful a mess he can make this weekend. devient shit. but I am glad that he is finally telling them and like I have said no time will be a good time so I am keeping my mouth shut and letting god. I still have my thoughts and am VENTING sory..

I just can't seem to help it I have been holding in all week and don't want to drive everyone crazy with my wild emotions. I have been holding back tears all day! I have no idea why.. I would like my roller coaster to just slow down for a while to a small roar and maybe one little loop. Its not even that time of the month this is so nuts.

I am going to have a nice candle lit bath and do some , maybe that will help give me serenity.

Love to all my friends
JJ

Hello jj,

Happy Birthday! I baked a cyber cake for you :)

(iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii) If I lived near you I bet you would let me come on your fun, only YOU day tomorrow. Well, enjoy it to the fullest! You deserve your special day. I will be thinking of you.

I have learned over the years to plan my birthday for me too. The funny thing is, my family finally came around after years. So now, my same friends wait for another day for us to celebrate and my older kids and hubby do a special fun thing on all our birthdays together. Forming traditions like that is a great gift for your kids. It was for mine but I never saw that it was working until years later. My hubby is an adult child of an alcoholic although I usually say he has dry drunk behaviour. He did go through therapy years ago for acoa. So, that is why he never made or gave a crap over my birthday years ago. So hang in there. There still is hope. :)

I guess I thought your brother already told your parents. Wow, and now to pick the holidays to do it. Must be the selfish part of the alcoholic? Whatever it is I will say prayers for you and your family. You are right in saying it has to be done and there really is no easy way around that for your brother. With something so terminal, it is probably best to just let him pick the time. Maybe some of your mood is over the reality of what is happening to him too? Just a thought. It is hard to know exactly what people's posts are really saying.

At least you don't have to wake up to alcohol breath. That may be one positive about your hubby not coming home tonite. The bath sounds like a wonderful idea! Sure hope you enjoy or enjoyed it. Your reply to Jeannie was so great! WE do have knowledge in ourselves that seems to come out for others but is hard for us to always see. At least that is what I think about me. Your reply to my recent post was helpful. It helped me for you to share about your teenage years too. Thank you for that. I will be grateful and proud if my daughter turns out like you are. :) Keep us updated and have a great day tomorrow! your friend in recovery,,cdb :)   (iiiiiii) one more for the road...:)

Cdb, Thank you sooooo much you are truely a wonderful person. You have touched my heart like I could never explain. Yes absolutly you would be able to come if you were near!!!!

LOL no bozze breath yes that is sounding good. Hp?? bday present from my hp?? maybe.

I plan on waking up tomorrow and being absolutly wonderful and all about me selfish like hehe. I am going to have a permagrin all day.

Thanks for the cake totally great!!! I am smiling again and my mood has lightened. Thanks so much

Love your friend
JJ

JJ, mainly wanted to give ya a hug. Ya said you did not know why you felt the way ya do. I find sometimes, when I feel down or frustrated, I tell myself ok that is the way I feel, accept it and feel it. I allow myself to cry. It is good for you, it is your bodies way of cleansing out some hurtful chemicals. Maybe ya need more sleep. I love naps. I grab up my Basset Hound, Tavish and we nap. I love my boy. Anyhoo have a good day tomorrow. love,debilyn

Just wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday!!!!

 

Yea - the one birthday wish I always want is "please don't let him be drunk on my birthday"  pretty sad......

Happy Birthday JJ!

Enjoy the special day that you have setup for yourself!

What a smart plan.

I have learned to do the same on my birthday - buy myself a present and lunch with my friends. If my A does actually acknowledge and remember the day it is a pleasant surprise.

It is still natural to get sad feelings about the necessity of doing this.

 

but we didn't cause it, cannot cure it, can't control it...but we can celebrate....our own lives.

 

happy Birthday!

 

 

Hey JJ Take a break for your birthday, I hope you enjoy yourself..Hope you told your self today will be a good day...for you. Cheer up, I have been 39 for three birthdays in a row lol, cept for that Black theme birthday I had a few years ago when my friends mistakenly thought I was 40 lol . Enjoy yourself !!! I'll screw off here at work an extra 10 minutes in celebration of your b-day. Hope your smilin all day Mark S

Thank you friends!

You are always so supportive.

Today I am not doing any house work! Today I will have an extra long shower, today I will do something just for me. (sory kids)

My sister inlaw got me the "Language of Letting Go" by melody Beattie and marked this page for me which is my birthday and I want to share it with all of you.

What if I knew for certain that everthing we're worried about today will work out fine?

What if...we had a guarantee that the problem bothering us would be worked out in the most perfect way, and at the best possible time? Furthermore, what if we knew that three years from now we'd be greatful for that problem, and its solution?

What if...we knew that even our worst fear would work out for the best?

What if...we had a guarantee that everything that's happening, and has happened, in our life was meant to be, planned just for us, and in our best interest?

What if...we had a guarantee that the people we love are experiencing exactly what they need in order to become who they're intended to become? Further, what if we had a guarantee that others can be responsible for themselves, and we don't have to control or take responsibility for them?

What if...we knew the future was going to be good, and we would have an abundance of resources and guidance to handle whatever comes our way?

What if...we knew everthing was okay, and we didn't have to worry about a thing? What would we do then?   We'd be free to let go and enjoy life.

Today, I will know that I don't have to worry about anything. If I do worry, I will do it with the understanding that I am choosing to worry, and it is not necessary.

I must say that this is the perfect gift and I reflected on this and so much pertains to me! And am I the only one who noticed me doing all the what if's lately??? Just perfect!!

Love JJ

-- Edited by jj at 13:33, 2005-03-25

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
HAPPY BI-I-I-IRTHDAY TO JJ,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

Have a peice of yummy cake! Enjoy and celebrate YOU! You are wonderful and you have much to celebrate. I am so glad you are here, I enjoy reading your posts.

Take care and enjoy your day-

Warmest wishes!

Cara ("cabecka")

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to youuuuuu.  Happy birthday to you!.    I'm glad you can't hear the sound! but the wish is there!

Why are you holding your tears in?  Give yourself 20-30 minutes of a good cry, then give yourself 60 minutes of something really good (eating, reading, dancing, painting your nails)!!! Heck make it 2 hours, and throw in some shopping too, it's your birthday!!

JJ!!!!

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

 

I'll be having a piece of lovely chocolate birthday cake in your honor!

 

Luv, bcanuck

A Happy Happy Birthday to you, JJ. I'm so glad you've planned a fun day with your best friend. ENJOY!!!! Love and hugs - Dot