1. What is alcoholism? We often refer to it as a threefold family disease affecting the body, the mind and the spirit. For the drinker, one of the symptoms is an uncontrollable desire for alcohol. 2. How can I help an alcoholic? Ultimately an alcoholic must want help, and often help is resisted. By adopting the Al-Anon/Alateen program we can stop trying to change the alcoholic. We learn we cannot change anyone. We do this by turning our attention to ourselves, the only ones we can change. 3. What is Al-Anon? Al-Anon is a fellowship of family members, friends and co-workers of alcoholics, men, women and children who try to solve our common problems by sharing experiences, good and bad, and by increasing our knowledge and understanding of the disease and our response to it. 4. What can I do to help an alcoholic stop drinking? By changing our own attitudes we provide a healthier environment for our families or circle of friends, including the alcoholic. This may allow the alcoholic to see the problem more clearly and pave the way to recovery in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). 5. How can I change my attitude? a. By following the Al-Anon program, its Steps, Traditions, and slogans; b. By attempting to understand the famliy disease of alcoholism and its effects on us; c. By attending Al-Anon meeting regularly; d. By volunteering our time to Al-Anon service. 6. Should I serve alcohol at home or around the alcoholic? This is an individual or family matter. It depends on the alcoholic's preferences. For some, it may seem advisable not to at the beginning of recovery. 7. Should I accept invitations for us to attend gatherings where alcohol is served? Let the alcoholic decide whether or not to accept such invitations. In Al-Anon we learn how to make good decisions for ourselves. 8. Should I stop drinking? If it makes any difference to the alcoholic it might be advisable, but this is your personal decision. Some of us learn to enjoy life without drinking and some of us drink socially without negative consequences. 9. Is there a good time when I can talk to the alcoholic about the drinking or the other serious problems that often go with it? This, in most cases, must be "played by ear." Many have found the alcoholic to be more approachable after a heavy drinking bout. Try to be calm and detached whenever such problems are discussed. 10. Should I treat the alcoholic in any special way? No. Experience has shown that the more attention paid, the less the alcoholic does. Allowing them to be responsible for their own behavior is difficult. 11. Will my troubles be over when the alcoholic stops drinking? Don't expect too much too soon. Recovery takes a long time, and not all problems, family or work related, are caused by alcoholism. Abstinence from drinking often unmasks other problems which require different responses. 12. Will I still need Al-Anon after the alcoholic has stopped drinking? Yes. The adjustment to sobriety can be aided by our continuing to focus on ourselves and growing in Al-Anon. Many members continue long after the drinking has stopped. 13. Am I sick, too? It is well to remember that we are suffering from the effects of another person's alcoholism, whether in our present life or somewhere in our past. 14. What new or old responsibilities can an alcoholic take? Few, unless the alcoholic has sought sobriety. Some alcoholics can assume responsibilities more quickly than others; the abilities of an alcoholic who has achieved sobriety may be limitless for some, while others truly take life one day at a time. 15. How can I help after the alcoholic stops drinking? Loving and understanding helps. Recovering from the effects of alcoholism, the family disease, ourselves, often aids in ongoing recovery of others. 16 What is a "dry drunk"? When alcoholics, who have not been drinking, get into a state of mind or display behavior previously associated with drinking, they are said to be having a "dry drunk." It often occurs in early sobriety but is not unusual later in long-term sobriety either. 17. Do I, in Al-Anon have "slips"? Yes, old reactions are hard to break, and sometimes we unwittingly slip back into old ways of thinking and acting. Keeping in touch with Al-Anon members by means of the telephone, reading Al-Anon literature, and attending meetings helps minimize this behavior. 18. How can I keep the alcoholic away from drinking companions? We can't.

Thanks John, that was certainly a 'keeper' :) TLC

John,

This post is great you should post more things like it. It's definitely explained some things for me. I was wondering is it a good idea for an 18 yr old to be a part of Al-Anon or should they just stick to Alateen or what? Please give me advice.

Lanchas

Thanks for posting the questions.

i agree with TLC this one is a "keeper" and put in my file for review as needed.....

John,

I'm still new to all of this. I've only been coming to this chat for about 4 months now. These questions and answers are so helpful to me. I just wanted to thank you very much for taking the time to do this.

Susan

Thanks John

The continuing reinforcement of the al-anon values and principles are invaluable;the more I hear, the more it sinks in and becomes imbedded in my mind and helps me live it.

Thanks a bunch

Ava