I am worried about my brother who is an alcoholic and drug user. He lives in Japan
but he doesn't speak Japanese. He is married to a Japanese lady, and has lived there
for 11 or 12 years. She has money, so neither of them have to work. She speaks
English to him, so he never had to learn the language. He has two masses of hair
that reach down his back. He has rejected society pretty much. He travels around
and does some art. I don't know if there ever was a time since he was 11 or 12 that he
wasn't either drinking or doing drugs. Supposedly, he's not drinking now. I'm glad
but he's not in a recovery program and he still is doing drugs. It's like I'm waiting
for the other shoe to drop. I'm afraid of what will happen to him. I'm afraid of
what his rock bottom will be. I find myself obsessing about it. I'm at home with
my young son, so I have a lot of time to think. To top it off, my husband makes
beer for a living. I don't think he is an alcoholic. He only has one or two beers
at a time, and doesn't get drunk. But I am seeing how much alcohol has affected
my life and the lives of those around me. Any words of wisdom would be welcomed!
Laurie
cdb said
Mar 13, 2005
Hello pepodwyer,
I think you have come to the right place. This is a place for people that have loved ones that are affected by alcoholism/drug abuse. You can do a search on this page and read others posts and replies, come to the meetings at the chatroom and listen to hear other's stories or go to a face to face alanon meeting. Your part about your brother caught my attention because my one brother who is now 51 recently disowned our entire family without telling us why. It has really broken my parent's hearts because they do not have any reason from him as to what anyone may have done so they can apologize or anything. This one brother of mine never had any kids and has a wife that also disowned her parents. I know my brother has done pot/weed for most of his life. I do not know if he is using anything else at the time because he lives far away from all of us. In fact, all of my family lives in different states and we don't get to see each other very often. I hope that you can keep the communication going with your brother because I know how much it has hurt me to lose it with mine. Alanon has basically taught me to take care of myself and to focus on me. I have been able to have a better relationship with everyone in my family by doing this and by not worrying all the time about my alcoholic/drug addict daughter.
I am not sure if anything I wrote is helpful to you or not. Mainly want to say welcome to MIP and keep on coming back. cdb :)
megan said
Mar 14, 2005
Welcome to alanon.
it is for people who are affected by anothers drinking.
Your brother - the first face to face meeting that i went to one lady was there because she was worried about her brother.
I remember the pain on her face.
I worry for my husband and feel a similar pain.
i used to worry myself sick, obsess about whether or not he was drinking or how much or if he was okay. None of it made any difference and I got sick. and my A stayed sick.
Then I found alanon. I attend face to face meetings and post online.
I read the alanon literature.
I am not as crazy as I used to be.
pepodwyer said
Mar 14, 2005
Cbd and Megan,
Thank you for responding to my post. I think my brother living so far away
makes it hard, in that I don't know what is going on with him, only through my mother
who always sugarcoats everything, and is still in denial. So, on one hand, I can
put it out of my mind, but then when I do think about him, I worry and assume the
worst. My mother has enabled him by supporting his lifestyle at an early age. She
shut her eyes to so much of it. I have worked through a lot of anger towards her,
but sometimes it still surfaces. I think that he was probably an alcoholic by the
time he was in jr. high school. Finding a site like this is comforting, because it
I am worried about my brother who is an alcoholic and drug user. He lives in Japan
but he doesn't speak Japanese. He is married to a Japanese lady, and has lived there
for 11 or 12 years. She has money, so neither of them have to work. She speaks
English to him, so he never had to learn the language. He has two masses of hair
that reach down his back. He has rejected society pretty much. He travels around
and does some art. I don't know if there ever was a time since he was 11 or 12 that he
wasn't either drinking or doing drugs. Supposedly, he's not drinking now. I'm glad
but he's not in a recovery program and he still is doing drugs. It's like I'm waiting
for the other shoe to drop. I'm afraid of what will happen to him. I'm afraid of
what his rock bottom will be. I find myself obsessing about it. I'm at home with
my young son, so I have a lot of time to think. To top it off, my husband makes
beer for a living. I don't think he is an alcoholic. He only has one or two beers
at a time, and doesn't get drunk. But I am seeing how much alcohol has affected
my life and the lives of those around me. Any words of wisdom would be welcomed!
Laurie
Hello pepodwyer,
I think you have come to the right place. This is a place for people that have loved ones that are affected by alcoholism/drug abuse. You can do a search on this page and read others posts and replies, come to the meetings at the chatroom and listen to hear other's stories or go to a face to face alanon meeting. Your part about your brother caught my attention because my one brother who is now 51 recently disowned our entire family without telling us why. It has really broken my parent's hearts because they do not have any reason from him as to what anyone may have done so they can apologize or anything. This one brother of mine never had any kids and has a wife that also disowned her parents. I know my brother has done pot/weed for most of his life. I do not know if he is using anything else at the time because he lives far away from all of us. In fact, all of my family lives in different states and we don't get to see each other very often. I hope that you can keep the communication going with your brother because I know how much it has hurt me to lose it with mine. Alanon has basically taught me to take care of myself and to focus on me. I have been able to have a better relationship with everyone in my family by doing this and by not worrying all the time about my alcoholic/drug addict daughter.
I am not sure if anything I wrote is helpful to you or not. Mainly want to say welcome to MIP and keep on coming back. cdb :)
Welcome to alanon.
it is for people who are affected by anothers drinking.
Your brother - the first face to face meeting that i went to one lady was there because she was worried about her brother.
I remember the pain on her face.
I worry for my husband and feel a similar pain.
i used to worry myself sick, obsess about whether or not he was drinking or how much or if he was okay. None of it made any difference and I got sick. and my A stayed sick.
Then I found alanon. I attend face to face meetings and post online.
I read the alanon literature.
I am not as crazy as I used to be.
Cbd and Megan,
Thank you for responding to my post. I think my brother living so far away
makes it hard, in that I don't know what is going on with him, only through my mother
who always sugarcoats everything, and is still in denial. So, on one hand, I can
put it out of my mind, but then when I do think about him, I worry and assume the
worst. My mother has enabled him by supporting his lifestyle at an early age. She
shut her eyes to so much of it. I have worked through a lot of anger towards her,
but sometimes it still surfaces. I think that he was probably an alcoholic by the
time he was in jr. high school. Finding a site like this is comforting, because it
makes me not feel so alone! Thanks, Laurie