It sounds like my daughter may be getting out of the inpatient treatment center this week. We do have a family meeting with her on Tuesday too. She had a home visit today and it went well. She got to see her brother and his girlfriend too since they were here for the weekend. She is actively looking for an apartment. This has been an intersting quest since she is not working right now, but will be in a week or two. So the apartment place she wants really questioned if she could keep up with her rent payments or not.
When she was here today she seemed to be uneasy around me. She also has made it known she does not want to move back here but out on her own. I am trying so hard not to let this hurt my feelings. I will discuss this at the family meeting. I keep wondering if she is running again from her problems and I would like to see her learn how to let us know if something is bothering her and communicate about it. But, that is not in my control. I can although bring it up at the meeting. When she is sober she can really plan things and follow through and be a good employee. It is when she is relapsing or using when she gets in trouble. I have felt so comfortable having her in an inpatient treatment facility and I find myself getting nervous and worried about her being released. Thank goodness I have you guys here on the message board to help me get through this! Okay, one day at a time. Progress not Perfection. Let go Let God. Oh and the thing I keep forgetting about these days,,,,,my higher power. I think he has been knocking on my head pretty hard and I haven't been answering lol. Well,,,then I know that I must knock on his door and he will answer me. So back to the drawing board for me this week and step one. Thanks for all your unconditional support and for your friendship. cdb
lalarainbow said
Mar 13, 2005
Cdb, I know how hard it is .. My son could only stay at the AC for 4 days then came home and then another 3.. He is living with us.. he has no job and is really miserable.. He is rude to us, does not talk much at all..and seems very depressed.... I wish so much that our system could keep them for a much longer time.. I am worn out.. and don't know how much more of this I can take. If he had a job he might feel better about himself and have some hope.. He is seeing a councillor about getting back into the work force. Let go and let God is much easier said then done.
Take care of yourself
~~Pam~~
babs said
Mar 13, 2005
Hi cdb
I too have a son (19+) whose path is not very good. For years we bumped heads, I forced my opinion, argued, and never let up. He used to go out all day long, or locked up in his room. I eventually saw that no matter what I said, no matter what I did, he still did what he wanted. So now, I feel the need (for me) to say things to him once. He knows this, (that I'll say it once). He listens (only with one ear). I leave him alone after that. He still takes these very wrong & troubling paths, but once in awhile he comes home & every now & then he talks to me. Most of all he feels he can come home, because I don't hound him every moment. That is out loud I don't hound him. I still worry, still wish, still hate the path he chooses, but I do like the fact that he feels he CAN come home no matter what.
I'm not comparing my story to yours, nor am I giving you advice. I'm just saying it is hard to watch them make their mistakes. I pray, and then I do something for myself to take my mind off these things. I'll send an extra prayer your way, but you do something for yourself! Babs
megan said
Mar 13, 2005
Hi CDB,
I can feel the pain in your post.
I hope things go well for all of you when she is released
cdb said
Mar 13, 2005
Thanks for your replies lala, babs and megan. It sure helps me to just write about my situation and feelings and the replies help me to remember that I am not alone in how I feel. I know people are here who really understand. Lala, I felt bad that you weren't able to talk in the chatroom last nite when the meeting started. I hope things calmed down with you and your son. It just must take time to detatch and I am hoping I do get better at it. Thanks for prayers too. I pray for others here too. cdb
lalarainbow said
Mar 13, 2005
CDb, It was ok about the chat room.. I was so too scared at that moment to really want to bother how to learn to pm etc.. Son was not gone long.. too cold for him I think..Hubby and He don't get along. Hubby says he is going on a road trip..I hope he does in away but then not sure how son and I will get a long... I am not going to sit here babysitting him.. I am going to go to my things and what he chooses to do is up to him.. I don't know why my life is in such a mess..but God must have a plan.. I feel sorry for son as he has no friends who aren't users and he has not been in program long enough to have met anyone....I have al anon tomorrow night and son has NA Tue night..I wish he could find work and that might help him get out of this depression he seems to be in.. take care
pam
cdb said
Mar 13, 2005
Wow lala,
Our two situations sound so much alike to me! We don't dare leave our home if our daughter is here or even has access to it. It will be awhile before we can trust her again. My daughter is having trouble finding friends too that do not use. Finding a true friend who doesn't relapse alot is a problem too. I feel bad for her too, but trust that her Higher Power is working in her life. If I couldn't talk about my situation here, I would be a nervous wreck myself. Keep me updated on your son. I hope he likes his NA meeting and you like you Alanon one. cdb :)
jj said
Mar 14, 2005
((((cdb)))))
I hope all goes well when your daughter gets out of IP. I am sure that every thing will be fine and will pray that it does for all of you.
Love your friend in recovery JJ
worriedmom said
Mar 15, 2005
i can understand exactly how u feel, my daughter just moved out on her own a mth ago from sober living- she has been clean 6 mths now- while i try to trust she wont use again, i still worry she will fall and not have to be acountable to anyone, i will pray for you. this board is wonderful, i just joined( last post) how can i let go)
Hello friends,
It sounds like my daughter may be getting out of the inpatient treatment center this week. We do have a family meeting with her on Tuesday too. She had a home visit today and it went well. She got to see her brother and his girlfriend too since they were here for the weekend. She is actively looking for an apartment. This has been an intersting quest since she is not working right now, but will be in a week or two. So the apartment place she wants really questioned if she could keep up with her rent payments or not.
When she was here today she seemed to be uneasy around me. She also has made it known she does not want to move back here but out on her own. I am trying so hard not to let this hurt my feelings. I will discuss this at the family meeting. I keep wondering if she is running again from her problems and I would like to see her learn how to let us know if something is bothering her and communicate about it. But, that is not in my control. I can although bring it up at the meeting. When she is sober she can really plan things and follow through and be a good employee. It is when she is relapsing or using when she gets in trouble. I have felt so comfortable having her in an inpatient treatment facility and I find myself getting nervous and worried about her being released. Thank goodness I have you guys here on the message board to help me get through this! Okay, one day at a time. Progress not Perfection. Let go Let God. Oh and the thing I keep forgetting about these days,,,,,my higher power. I think he has been knocking on my head pretty hard and I haven't been answering lol. Well,,,then I know that I must knock on his door and he will answer me. So back to the drawing board for me this week and step one. Thanks for all your unconditional support and for your friendship. cdb
Cdb, I know how hard it is .. My son could only stay at the AC for 4 days then came home and then another 3.. He is living with us.. he has no job and is really miserable.. He is rude to us, does not talk much at all..and seems very depressed.... I wish so much that our system could keep them for a much longer time.. I am worn out.. and don't know how much more of this I can take. If he had a job he might feel better about himself and have some hope.. He is seeing a councillor about getting back into the work force. Let go and let God is much easier said then done.
Take care of yourself
~~Pam~~
Hi cdb
I too have a son (19+) whose path is not very good. For years we bumped heads, I forced my opinion, argued, and never let up. He used to go out all day long, or locked up in his room. I eventually saw that no matter what I said, no matter what I did, he still did what he wanted. So now, I feel the need (for me) to say things to him once. He knows this, (that I'll say it once). He listens (only with one ear). I leave him alone after that. He still takes these very wrong & troubling paths, but once in awhile he comes home & every now & then he talks to me. Most of all he feels he can come home, because I don't hound him every moment. That is out loud I don't hound him. I still worry, still wish, still hate the path he chooses, but I do like the fact that he feels he CAN come home no matter what.
I'm not comparing my story to yours, nor am I giving you advice. I'm just saying it is hard to watch them make their mistakes. I pray, and then I do something for myself to take my mind off these things. I'll send an extra prayer your way, but you do something for yourself! Babs
Hi CDB,
I can feel the pain in your post.
I hope things go well for all of you when she is released
CDb, It was ok about the chat room.. I was so too scared at that moment to really want to bother how to learn to pm etc.. Son was not gone long.. too cold for him I think..Hubby and He don't get along. Hubby says he is going on a road trip..I hope he does in away but then not sure how son and I will get a long... I am not going to sit here babysitting him.. I am going to go to my things and what he chooses to do is up to him.. I don't know why my life is in such a mess..but God must have a plan.. I feel sorry for son as he has no friends who aren't users and he has not been in program long enough to have met anyone....I have al anon tomorrow night and son has NA Tue night..I wish he could find work and that might help him get out of this depression he seems to be in.. take care
pam
Wow lala,
Our two situations sound so much alike to me! We don't dare leave our home if our daughter is here or even has access to it. It will be awhile before we can trust her again. My daughter is having trouble finding friends too that do not use. Finding a true friend who doesn't relapse alot is a problem too. I feel bad for her too, but trust that her Higher Power is working in her life. If I couldn't talk about my situation here, I would be a nervous wreck myself. Keep me updated on your son. I hope he likes his NA meeting and you like you Alanon one. cdb :)
((((cdb)))))
I hope all goes well when your daughter gets out of IP. I am sure that every thing will be fine and will pray that it does for all of you.
Love your friend in recovery
JJ
i can understand exactly how u feel, my daughter just moved out on her own a mth ago from sober living- she has been clean 6 mths now- while i try to trust she wont use again, i still worry she will fall and not have to be acountable to anyone, i will pray for you. this board is wonderful, i just joined( last post) how can i let go)
keep turning her over to your HP.
i am here for you too!