Tell me what you pay attention to and I will tell you who you are. --Jose Ortegay Gasset
Where the mind is, there will be the heart; we become what we think about. If that idea doesn't halt you in your tracks, it should. Why? Our sense of self is totally reflective of our habitual thinking patterns.
What is oureverday mind-set? Is our attention always drawn to the flaws in people and things? Are we quick to notice that the soup is salty and the chairs uncomfortable? If that is our mental habit, the ugliness and human failure all around us will also be apparent. Our self-images will wear those same faces; ugly, sad, failed.
We come up with a different picture, however, if we learn to look for the good. Then we see other commuters on the freeway as fellow workers rather than as wheeled antagonists. Then we become aware of the care and love that cooked our dinner or bought us a birthday card. When we focus on the beauty in the world, knowing well that the opposite also exists, our self images shine in the same golden light. Let us take charge of our thinking habits lest they blind us to the light.
Self esteem reflects whatever light the mind shines on the world.
david62 said
Mar 7, 2005
Wow!... thanks for that one Wallsal.
You definately hit a nerve with me. For the last few years living with my then active a wife, my mindset was awful. I went around filled with fear, constantly wondering what she would do next. How much would she drink today? How was I going to stop her. What thing could I think up and plan to keep her preoccupied so she wouldnt have time to drink, or be at a place where she could drink.
Even now with almost a year in Alanon, and with us being seperated and about to be divorced, I find my mind constantly wandering over to her again every time I let my guard down.
And whenever I think of her, its about something bad.
It is so difficult to stop and yet with the tools I have learned from this program I know I can find serenity and happiness if I can remember to apply those tools when I notice my thoughts "going awry".
And that last statement about self-esteem ties it all up in a nice package for me! It is because my self-esteem has been non existant for so long, that I spent and continue to spend so much time dwelling on HER.
Thank you so much for the insight!
Yours in recovery,
David
richard said
Mar 7, 2005
It is a good thing that there actually are not many true axioms. I know for a fact, that not always true… a fact!
Hugs & Luv,
cdb said
Mar 8, 2005
Hello Wallsal,
This is an excellent post! I really got alot out of it and over the years have been working with counseling on the looking at good things trait. I have learned to do that with my not being able to work or not being as independent due to my fatigue and chronic pain. I also have depression and I know if I would really work on having a better outlook and seeing all the good around and in things that it would help my depression. So this post really reflected the goals in my life I have been working on that roller coaster around and around and up and down lately. Facing the fact that my young daughter is an alcoholic/drug addict put me in a state of shock! Thus, I have been trying hard to get back to the place of finding happiness in my life again. It is a funny thing how such a shock can mess the brain up again and cause it to only see the negative. I imagine this is normal for alanon people so Thank God we have each other for support and knowledge.
God Bless and Thanks again for this wonderful post! cdb
megan said
Mar 8, 2005
Thanks Wallsye,
I really needed to read this today.
I am just so down sometimes, so on the defensive, expecting problems and trouble. Even my A has said it to me more than once - hey your glass is always half empty....
learn to look for the good. That is a very important focus. It sure is healthier than stewing around in the muck and the mire.
Self esteem reflects whatever light the mind shines on the world.
This is an inspiring post and a lesson much needed for me to learn. thank-you for the post..I will work on putting it into practice today!
dogscribe said
Mar 8, 2005
walsal55 - great post
david62 - when you wrote:
You definately hit a nerve with me. For the last few years living with my then active a wife, my mindset was awful. I went around filled with fear, constantly wondering what she would do next. How much would she drink today? How was I going to stop her. What thing could I think up and plan to keep her preoccupied so she wouldnt have time to drink, or be at a place where she could drink.
WOW - I can SOOOOOOO relate to this!!!!
Glass 1/2 empty or glass 1/2 full - I'm just happy to have a glass!
Tell me what you pay attention to and I will tell you who you are. --Jose Ortegay Gasset
Where the mind is, there will be the heart; we become what we think about. If that idea doesn't halt you in your tracks, it should. Why? Our sense of self is totally reflective of our habitual thinking patterns.
What is oureverday mind-set? Is our attention always drawn to the flaws in people and things? Are we quick to notice that the soup is salty and the chairs uncomfortable? If that is our mental habit, the ugliness and human failure all around us will also be apparent. Our self-images will wear those same faces; ugly, sad, failed.
We come up with a different picture, however, if we learn to look for the good. Then we see other commuters on the freeway as fellow workers rather than as wheeled antagonists. Then we become aware of the care and love that cooked our dinner or bought us a birthday card. When we focus on the beauty in the world, knowing well that the opposite also exists, our self images shine in the same golden light. Let us take charge of our thinking habits lest they blind us to the light.
Self esteem reflects whatever light the mind shines on the world.
Wow!... thanks for that one Wallsal.
You definately hit a nerve with me. For the last few years living with my then active a wife, my mindset was awful. I went around filled with fear, constantly wondering what she would do next. How much would she drink today? How was I going to stop her. What thing could I think up and plan to keep her preoccupied so she wouldnt have time to drink, or be at a place where she could drink.
Even now with almost a year in Alanon, and with us being seperated and about to be divorced, I find my mind constantly wandering over to her again every time I let my guard down.
And whenever I think of her, its about something bad.
It is so difficult to stop and yet with the tools I have learned from this program I know I can find serenity and happiness if I can remember to apply those tools when I notice my thoughts "going awry".
And that last statement about self-esteem ties it all up in a nice package for me! It is because my self-esteem has been non existant for so long, that I spent and continue to spend so much time dwelling on HER.
Thank you so much for the insight!
Yours in recovery,
David
It is a good thing that there actually are not many true axioms. I know for a fact, that not always true… a fact!
Hugs & Luv,
Hello Wallsal,
This is an excellent post! I really got alot out of it and over the years have been working with counseling on the looking at good things trait. I have learned to do that with my not being able to work or not being as independent due to my fatigue and chronic pain. I also have depression and I know if I would really work on having a better outlook and seeing all the good around and in things that it would help my depression. So this post really reflected the goals in my life I have been working on that roller coaster around and around and up and down lately. Facing the fact that my young daughter is an alcoholic/drug addict put me in a state of shock! Thus, I have been trying hard to get back to the place of finding happiness in my life again. It is a funny thing how such a shock can mess the brain up again and cause it to only see the negative. I imagine this is normal for alanon people so Thank God we have each other for support and knowledge.
God Bless and Thanks again for this wonderful post! cdb
Thanks Wallsye,
I really needed to read this today.
I am just so down sometimes, so on the defensive, expecting problems and trouble. Even my A has said it to me more than once - hey your glass is always half empty....
learn to look for the good. That is a very important focus. It sure is healthier than stewing around in the muck and the mire.
Self esteem reflects whatever light the mind shines on the world.
This is an inspiring post and a lesson much needed for me to learn. thank-you for the post..I will work on putting it into practice today!
walsal55 - great post
david62 - when you wrote:
You definately hit a nerve with me. For the last few years living with my then active a wife, my mindset was awful. I went around filled with fear, constantly wondering what she would do next. How much would she drink today? How was I going to stop her. What thing could I think up and plan to keep her preoccupied so she wouldnt have time to drink, or be at a place where she could drink.
WOW - I can SOOOOOOO relate to this!!!!
Glass 1/2 empty or glass 1/2 full - I'm just happy to have a glass!