In 2002 when I went to my first Ala-non meeting I hadn't worked in 5 years. I stayed home and managed everything, managed to enable my AH with all the freedom in the world. After 6 months in program I got a job that I love and found mmyself again. I take classes, work out and feel great. Yea, he quit drinking to until recently. So, now I'm wondering if I want to stay for round 2, or 3, and 4? I'm feeling strong but scared to death to leave my 22 yr. marriage. I'm trying very hard not to force things. I'm in counseling and I'll hit my favorite meeting this Friday.
What I'm trrying to say is that Ala-non set me free and I hope all the newbies out there can find a ftf meeting as soon as possible, They will help you find you again.
So for now I will take one day at a time. Thanks to all here for your quiet reminders to do the work because I am a work in progress, and I'm worth it!
richard said
Mar 7, 2005
At times, I find that making decisions a tough thing to do, but I am so blessed to be free enough to have choices… you too, eh?
Hugs & Luv,
jj said
Mar 7, 2005
whitie,
Thank you for your post! You sound so positive and that is so nice to here or should I say read.
I will look forward to reading your posts.
JJ
babs said
Mar 7, 2005
I can so relate, and I feel like I'm in your shoes. I too have been a stay home mom, let myself go, etc. NOw I work out, considering going back to school. I feel like I have a second chance with al anon. Great for You!!!! It's wonderful to find yourself, isn't it? Keep doing & looking, you'll find more wonderful thinkgs about yourself & your family too.
megan said
Mar 7, 2005
yes, you are worth it. Alanon teaches us to find ourselves again. I had been so myopic I even though for my A, did all the things that needed to be done in our lives and lost myself. No More! Alanon has made me incredibly strong.
I can relate to the relaspe of the A. I am married 14 years
Well my A is one week sober. And it is a tough go. I am using all of my alanon skills... He had quit last year for 5 months and that was not peace either but it was a heck of a lot better than the drinking.
My A quit because he got a very very bad cold and could not drive himself to the liquor store.
Then his brain cleared up and he looked at our banking and saw instead of $200 a paycheck to my private account I had now $300. I told him I was saving up to move out and he didn't like that. When I said I did not like to be around him when he drank (he's been binging) he said so you say. I ignored this comment - before alanon I would have ripped into him with all of his bad behaviour when drunk.
For a few days we kind of avoided each other. he told me at least 10 time he was quitting drinking to lose weight (he's got 30lbs to lose) not because of me blah blah blah. Whatever.
we will see how long (or short) this will last
In the meantime - I am riding my bike on the weekends, spending timw with family and friends, reading books - I love reading, and still taking care of ME. I have progressed very well on my job and am set to take on some major responsibilities - my boss asked if I wanted this and I practically yelled YES! This is a position that i have been angling for subltley for 3 years, not so subtley (since alanon) for 8 months. Thanks to alanon I again was able to see - me...
Work in progress, I can relate...alanon sure teaches us some great tools for living
Jeannie said
Mar 7, 2005
(((whitie)))
Yes you are worth it!
While any change or move is scarey, isn't is nice to know that you are not trapped? That you have choices and it is up to you to decide which way your life can go.
Thanks for the uplifting post.
Love Jeannie
whitie said
Mar 8, 2005
Thanks for all your great posts. You all really lifted my spirits after a hard day and I went off to pilates in a great mood. I was able to focus on me again and enjoy my class. Funny thing is, you all said that I sounded so uplifting and I feel anything but that most of the time. I know that I've done alot to help myself but it's still a daily struggle. I am very thankful for Ala-non making me see that I do have choices. I try to tell myself that every morning as I start my day. I have the power to make it a good day. Thanks to all of you too.
At times, I find that making decisions a tough thing to do, but I am so blessed to be free enough to have choices… you too, eh?
Hugs & Luv,
whitie,
Thank you for your post! You sound so positive and that is so nice to here or should I say read.
I will look forward to reading your posts.
JJ
yes, you are worth it. Alanon teaches us to find ourselves again. I had been so myopic I even though for my A, did all the things that needed to be done in our lives and lost myself. No More! Alanon has made me incredibly strong.
I can relate to the relaspe of the A. I am married 14 years
Well my A is one week sober. And it is a tough go. I am using all of my alanon skills... He had quit last year for 5 months and that was not peace either but it was a heck of a lot better than the drinking.
My A quit because he got a very very bad cold and could not drive himself to the liquor store.
Then his brain cleared up and he looked at our banking and saw instead of $200 a paycheck to my private account I had now $300. I told him I was saving up to move out and he didn't like that. When I said I did not like to be around him when he drank (he's been binging) he said so you say. I ignored this comment - before alanon I would have ripped into him with all of his bad behaviour when drunk.
For a few days we kind of avoided each other. he told me at least 10 time he was quitting drinking to lose weight (he's got 30lbs to lose) not because of me blah blah blah. Whatever.
we will see how long (or short) this will last
In the meantime - I am riding my bike on the weekends, spending timw with family and friends, reading books - I love reading, and still taking care of ME. I have progressed very well on my job and am set to take on some major responsibilities - my boss asked if I wanted this and I practically yelled YES! This is a position that i have been angling for subltley for 3 years, not so subtley (since alanon) for 8 months. Thanks to alanon I again was able to see - me...
Work in progress, I can relate...alanon sure teaches us some great tools for living
(((whitie)))
Yes you are worth it!
While any change or move is scarey, isn't is nice to know that you are not trapped? That you have choices and it is up to you to decide which way your life can go.
Thanks for the uplifting post.
Love Jeannie