Hi all I am looking for a sponser who can help me begin working the steps and just lend a hand if I get off track, I really do not know to go about asking for one, so any input you can please give. Yes I am the lost puppy! LOL I need to find myself and I am not sure how since I have been not knowing me for so long, well, all ty love you lots \Cloud, aka Rae Ann

 

Cloud, first and foremost I hope you attend face to face meetings.The way I chose my sponsor was she reflected some of the ideals I wanted and needed. She also mirrored my life as it was at the time, and I was encouraged by her sharings on how she handled many a situations. Finding a sponsor, for me I needed to trust this person whole heartedly so I could discuss even the most intimate details without feeling embarrassed/afraid/or the feeling of being condemned. Finding a sponsor a person who you can get away to if needed to even have a coffee is most important, so what I suggest is listen to people when they share at meetings, if they seem like a person you would like as a sponsor, then ask them. If they say no , that is no reflection on you, and dont take it personally, it just may mean they are not ready to sponsor anyone at that time, so keep on asking. Good Luck, gardengal

Welcome to alanon Cloud!!!  In regards to getting a sponsor, for me just having one is key.  It is true that there is nothing like having someone you can look eye to eye with, go out to coffee, give a call (without long-distance charges heehee) or just pop in to see.  But there are such things as temperary sponsors too.  That would be someone to help you get started untill you find a f2f sponsor if you desire. But when it comes to you permenant sponsor, I was told to take my time, make a list of things I was looking for in a sponsor and just listen to others untill HP sent my sponsor strait to me. Lots of people here have online sponsors, I am in contact with my sponsor online more than in person honestly.  But having your sponsor over for the day really is a special treat.  Don't hesitate in asking someone for help, that is what alanon is all about.  We all help each other; new can help the old just as muchif not more as the old can help the new.  So glad you found us, Keep Coming Back.

 Lots of Love, Mastiff 

hugs and love for getting back to me and trying to explain the whole thing to me, I was gonna attened my first f2f last week but me and the little one were sick. Gonna go to first wens nite only 2 a week in my town. thanks for your replies love cloud

I was taught a specific group of guidelines for picking a sponsor: 1. A minimum of one year face to face Al-Anon. 2. The potential sponsor is doing or has done work at the level of Alternate Group Rep. or higher. 3. Understanding of the issues involved is critical. 4. The same gender principle appies only to a first sponsorship. 5. A good sponsor must be willing to get an agreement in writing before work begins. 6. DO NOT PICK a sponsor who is emotionally and/or physically attracted to you! 7. DO NOT PICK a sponsor who lies about credentials! They will be untrustworthy in other issues as well. 8. DO NOT PICK a sponsor that does not have good attendance at meetings or who hasn't been given additional responsibilities within a year. The Twelve Traditions give me the right to be picky, as I am hiring a special worker. As such I can raise the bar as high as I need to. I have the right to pick the best person for the job! Hope this helps. Haximon