After reading the many responses (thank you all) there were a few things I wanted to clarify.
No where in my post did I say these were "Al-Anon Rules". Al-Anon does not have rules, Al-Anon has guidelines/suggestions. Each group decides for themselves, thru the group conscience, how their group will work best within these guidelines/suggestions, adhering to the Steps, Traditions and Concepts.
No where in my post did I say we should not give hugs to people during shares. When I was talking about shares, I was expressing my own personal preference and said this was what I was expressing. I will say though that I have seen a newcomer share and then ask why is everyone saying my name??? This newcomer did not know they were hugs. I also have seen when someone was sharing something very sad, another person typed in a smiley face and an lol. My reaction when I saw that was, omg, how inappropriate, is that person not paying attention to what was just said?? Yes, there are times we all need a hug.
Luv, Kis
whitie said
Mar 6, 2005
I felt your hugs tonite in the chat room. Thanks for that. There is so much talk that isn't ala-non that it's hard to jump in. I must say it is a bit scary at first. I too feel more comfortable here. To each his own I guess. It was your post though that made me try the chat room again. Maybe I'll get more comfortable with it with time.
kismetstrand said
Mar 6, 2005
Glad you came in whitie. It does get a bit crazy during open chat time. You might prefer coming in for the meetings at first. Those are structured, just like ftf (face to face) meetings. During open chat, everyone just talks about whatever is on their mind, like you would before or after a meeting or going out to coffee with the group. So yes, sometimes we aren't discussing Alanon things. We do joke around a lot and play during open chat, but if someone has a need to talk Alanon, we do our best to stop and listen. Glad you were here tonight, hope to see you again! Take care.
Luv, Kis
cdb said
Mar 6, 2005
Hello kis,
Thanks for clarifying. I just wanted to comment on the accidental smile that I myself had in a meeting today. A person said something and a smile was appropriate, but by the time my smile got on the screen they had said something in the next sentence where a smile was not appropriate. None of us are perfect and with that said, I am to the point where I do not even care anymore what anyone decides. I am new here and I am feeling like whitie,,,,the message board may be a better support for me like it was when I first joined. Thanks again kis, for all the time and devotion you put into this chatsite. My opinions and comments have nothing to do with you or any other OP. I really do think the volunteer service work you and the other OPs do is wonderful and you all deserve more credit than you will ever get. cdb :)
After reading the many responses (thank you all) there were a few things I wanted to clarify.
No where in my post did I say these were "Al-Anon Rules". Al-Anon does not have rules, Al-Anon has guidelines/suggestions. Each group decides for themselves, thru the group conscience, how their group will work best within these guidelines/suggestions, adhering to the Steps, Traditions and Concepts.
No where in my post did I say we should not give hugs to people during shares. When I was talking about shares, I was expressing my own personal preference and said this was what I was expressing. I will say though that I have seen a newcomer share and then ask why is everyone saying my name??? This newcomer did not know they were hugs. I also have seen when someone was sharing something very sad, another person typed in a smiley face and an lol. My reaction when I saw that was, omg, how inappropriate, is that person not paying attention to what was just said?? Yes, there are times we all need a hug.
Luv, Kis
Glad you came in whitie. It does get a bit crazy during open chat time. You might prefer coming in for the meetings at first. Those are structured, just like ftf (face to face) meetings. During open chat, everyone just talks about whatever is on their mind, like you would before or after a meeting or going out to coffee with the group. So yes, sometimes we aren't discussing Alanon things. We do joke around a lot and play during open chat, but if someone has a need to talk Alanon, we do our best to stop and listen. Glad you were here tonight, hope to see you again! Take care.
Luv, Kis
Hello kis,
Thanks for clarifying. I just wanted to comment on the accidental smile that I myself had in a meeting today. A person said something and a smile was appropriate, but by the time my smile got on the screen they had said something in the next sentence where a smile was not appropriate. None of us are perfect and with that said, I am to the point where I do not even care anymore what anyone decides. I am new here and I am feeling like whitie,,,,the message board may be a better support for me like it was when I first joined. Thanks again kis, for all the time and devotion you put into this chatsite. My opinions and comments have nothing to do with you or any other OP. I really do think the volunteer service work you and the other OPs do is wonderful and you all deserve more credit than you will ever get. cdb :)