Alcoholism is a family disease. Living with the effects of somene elses drinking is too devastating for most people to bear without help. In alanon we learn individuals are not responsible for another person's disease or recovery from it. We let go of our obsessions with another's behaviour and begin to lead a happier and more manageable lvies, lives with dignity and rights:lives guided by a power greater than ourselves.

In alanon we learn:

Not to suffer because of the actions or reactions of other people

Not to allow ourselves to be used or abused by others in the interest of anothers recovery.

Not to do for others what they could do for themselves

Not to manipulate situations so others will eat,,go to bed,,,get up,,,pay bills,,not drink.

Not to cover up for anyone's mistakes or misdeeds.

Not to create a crisis.

Not to prevent a crisis if it is in the natural course of events.

Detachment is neither kind nor unkind. It does not imply judgement or condemnation of a person or situation from which we are detaching. It simply si a means that allows us to separate ourselves from the adverse affects that another persons alcoholism can have upon our lives.

Detachment helps families look at their situations realistically and objectively, therby making intellegent decisions possible.

I hope this helps someone,,and for me,,heard it a million times but like most I need to hear this reinforcement time and time again,,,,,,gardengal

thanks for your post gg :)

i really needed to hear that..as i am detatching myself from a current situation.  guess my a isn't done drinking yet. We were supposed to go on a "date" tonite..his idea..but he is passed out drunk.  so..not focusing on him helps me regain my sanity. 

love in recovery,

Christine

 

GG.. thanks so much for the reinforcement on detachment... helped me to know that my detachment was what I needed to do... Some days I feel bad about what I did... (taking action on my A for his behavior).. but I know that I did not have to accept his behavior... and I have been over looking it for too long... My marriage may be coming to an end very soon for taking action on that behavior, but I know that if I wouldnt have done it I would still be accepting unacceptable behavior, and he would still be thinking he wasnt doing anything wrong...Today I talked to my A and he asked why I went to that extreme.. I explained and DID NOT try and reason that if my taking action for his unacceptable behavior taught him ANYTHING at all then and made him fear ever treating ANYONE like that again than I have ACCOMPLISHED something and it made me feel very good about what I did... so thanks gg again for positive look at detachment...I feel better and better all the time.....     Smeep

Thanks GG, learning to detatch has been such a sanity-saver for me. It turned my whole world around, right way up!! Love, TLC

Thanks garden gal

 

Greetings all from the library. I think this may be my "sacred place" even a corner of my home turned out not to be.

Detachemnet - I like the reminder and am happy to read about it more.

I find at times I am so very detached that even when my A is sober ( a few days now as he has a bad cold) that I just don't even want to be bothered with what he has to say. On some level it is impersonal. On a deeper level detachment has saved me from many a reaction and many an argument over the last few days. When the A is using that is when I put detachemnt into practice, daily, hourly by the minute. I still have my sanity

 

thanks for the post

Wow gg, I sure needed to read this today. As you probably observed this am :) , I have alot of growth to do. Progress not Perfection. Babysteps with my size 11 women shoes. And alot of alanon reading and practicing will help me to become a better person. Thanks posting this! cdb