Hey all Been having quite a time lately, lol probably notice at the board a lot lately. If ever read my replies you probably know my story so I won’t go into that as I seem to tie it into most every reply anyway ..humm. Anyhow while wife is off to rehab for a month I am playing Mr. Mom. I did it a couple years ago when she was in rehab, but the kids were younger and it seemed somewhat easier, but I think my mom who would come over and watch the kids for a few hours a day must have been doing more stuff that I thought I was. Wow my daughter has really changed from 7yrs to 9 at least in the case of care like getting ready for school such as what cloths she will wear (wow girls are picky) I don’t brush her hair right, I don’t do this or that right (geeze she is no fun in morning lol). So mornings are always frantic trying to get her ready no matter how early I get them up, her and son 7. Geeze the laundry the dishes the general house cleaning really is a full time job. Wew I’m tired as work all day then pick up kids, get em fed, do homework take a stab at getting house somewhat cleaned up, do the bath battle thing, try to get the laundry for next day done then start the bedtime battle thing with the need this need that before bed, he did this she did that which always seems to happen at bedtime wew. Yea whaaa whaa lol. I just have to say that regardless of the addictions of gambling and alcohol, I have to admit she did a better job with these things than I’m doing right now (at least when alcohol wasn’t in the way), and thinking that maybe I could have helped more. So all you Moms out there, you got a tough job and my hats off to ya. (What a suck up I am lol, but I realize now probably deserve some sucking up) Still am unsure of the future of the marriage at this point, but I do recognize one of my flaws as it has been in my face for the past couple weeks and I do have to admit that I did have some unfair expectations when it came to these things and wasn’t much help except the homework and really did not show much appreciation or recognize the effort. All I can say is TGIF (Thank God It’s Friday) with no school no work tomorrow Yea!!! Keep your face to the Sun and Remember to Smile a lot even if you don’t feel like it. Mark_S

Mark,

You are doing awesome!  I am convinced now that my children are young adults that not only do they need guidelines and rules, they want them in their own way.  Rules are what keeps some semblance of normalcy.

A little story that I hope encourages you . . . I had to leave my marriage when my boys were in 4th, 6th and 8th grade and it was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life up until that point.  I went to live with my sister and they did not want to leave their home so they stayed with their Dad.  Well he had the same bumps along the way that you are having.  They learned together.  Now I have to acknowledge that though I still don't like a lot of his style with what he allows to go on, he did a wonderful job with the boys.  My youngest said to me somewhat recently how he remembers how his Dad made cool lunches (god knows what they ate - but they lived).  And I felt bad because he did not remember that prior to my leaving, I provided everything for them (craziness too :).

So keep on keepin' on you are doing marvelous, congratulate yourself on a job well done.  You are doing the best you can with what you've got.  Remember to have a lot of fun in between those rules -- tickle them till they chuckle and joke a lot too because humor often is so helpful, a nice relief of endorphins.

;) Maria

Hi ya

What a wonderful recognition of a lot of mums/child carer's unseen but labour intensive work.  Good on you for putting it out there, a lot wouldn't have been so humble.

You sound like your doing a fantastic job it's not easy working and running a busy household I'm sure it's added extra wrinkles to me the last two years. 10 out of 10 buddy!

You should be v proud of yourself and what a big public admission of your shortcomings - so admirable.

Keep up the good work your doing a great job (remember to have a bit of a sit down here and there) so your batteries dont go flat.

Ava    

Thanks for the replies, I was drowning a bit last week as had alot going on at home and at work. I have been trying to stick to some rules (as my rules are slightly different than moms) that the kids are initally resistant to however when they find I won't waiver they usually do very well, they like rules just not right at first lol. I fealt alittle bad last week as I have been gettin on em a bit for habits they have had for a long time that were tolerated in the past (by me as well), that have been trying to break (usually mess related, and eating all over house with the mess that goes with it, throwing cloths, wrappers whatever on floor, dirty dishes god only knows where). Guess my tune is changing when I'm the only one cleaning it up. Not for long lol. I'm pretty lucky though cause they are great kids and are doing very very well in school as well, especiallly given the insanity they have seen at home in the past. I'm just happy that they seem pretty happy (cept in mornings lol). Wall, Maria and Ava...Thanks for your support, while this no big crisis your encouraging words were some oxygen to a drowning dad lol. Maria thanks for sharing your story with me, as I know a mom can be the hardest critic to please, yet you looked at the result and not the means with your own emotions aside. It was appreciated. A simple smile can be outcome changing Mark S

Mark,

Give yourself many pats on the back :) . You are a remarkable person with a loving caring heart! Keep coming here. You have been a great asset to this site and are growing in alanon by leaps and bounds!

After reading your post something new hit my mind. Maybe we stay at home moms aren't better or do the things better than you have been. Maybe we have just had more training and years of experience. You will be a pro in no time at all and the kids will always remember this time with memories and more dad/kid bonding. cdb

 

Mark

Sounds to me like you are doing a great job! Like others have said the most important thing is not how well, but that you are doing it.

I agree with Cdb, it is not that we Moms are better at it, we have just had more practice. As a Mom of 6 I often wonder how my oldest kids survived, as they did not come with instructions, and I was very young and inexperienced.

The first time I made a turkey,my Mom told me to wash it. I did with dish soap, Yuck, what a mess. Then I cleaned hardwood floors with Pledge thinking how shiny they looked. Almost broke my husbands neck when he went flying on his butt, because they where so slippery.

Many years and grey hairs later, I am a pro, but it took a lot of time. Give yourself a big pat on the back, your amazing!

I know we aren't supposed to give advice, but with young girls who are very clothes conciouse, I have found having them get the clothes out the night before and sticking with it, made mornings a whole lot easier.

Keep up the good work, they will always remember that Dad was there for them and the good times. Any mistakes will become something to laugh about down the road.

                                           Love Jeannie

Thanks cdb and Jeannie!!! I dont know if I'll be a pro, but shootin for the minor leagues, or maybe Pee Wee ball LOL . Thanks for the vote of confidence!!! Jeannie your story about the turkey had me rollin..cause did somethin similar with an un baked (i didnt know had to be baked) barbeque chicken legs I bought at store, guess 5 minutes in the microwave to heat probably wasn't enough lol daughter said dad theres somthing wrong with this lol. By the way 6 kids, WOW gotta be busy! Thanks for your encouraging words!!! dont need my smile closing cause still laughin!! Mark S :