I hate to sound like I'm whining, but Rich is home after 4 days in Detox. He called me this morning and said he was being discharged, would I come pick him up? Of course I did. Rich is 39 years old and I feel old enough to make his own decisions.
His 3 sisters feel differently. They are mad at me for bringing him back home to our condo. I am also in AA, attend meetings and we have discussed that we will go to meetings together. There is not one ounce of anything mind altering in this house. How can I assure his sisters that my intentions are only good ones for Rich and I?
Rich sometimes seems so torn between me and his family, I'm afraid that either his feelings for me aren't sincere, or that he might crack from all this pressure. All he wants is for everyone to get along. So do I. I had no idea his one sister disliked me as much as she does. HATES me...Rich and I abused alcohol together for awhile and I know I enabled him. I've been going to Alanon Meetings, too. What more can I do???? I regret every day that I continued to abuse myself and him...we both have lost so much from this terrible booze. I lost my marriage, my children, my home. Rich has lost his daughter. Why can't people give us a chance? I get mad about this and very frustrated. Please, any input would be REALLY appreciated as to how to "detach" from this situation with LOVE.
Eileen
richard said
Mar 2, 2005
There is one more thing that you can do about your man and his sisters… try doing nothing, yep nothing. Have you forgotten or skipped over the God steps?
Hugs & Luv,
-- Edited by richard at 23:14, 2005-03-02
Mark S said
Mar 3, 2005
Eileen,
Yea family can be fun, and yea they will probably blame you for everything, lol I think my inlaws like to look at me through a microscope and my A through blinders. It I think maybe slight denial on their part as well cause its easier to blame an "outsider of their family" than to face reality...I dont know and I really don't care cause it don't help me or my a, thats their thing. I do have to agree with Richard though, the best thing you can do is nothing, their atitudes are best left in the hands of god. Might help to ask God for assistance on this one, as It has helped me with a very similar situation with my inlaws. He seems to do things that amaze me that I know I couldnt do for myself.
Glad you have chosen a better life for yourself, It's not easy but nothing good in life ever is. Keep on keepin on.
Keep your face to the sun and put a smile on
Mark S
Annie said
Mar 3, 2005
Hi, it seems to me you are doing what YOU think is right for you and your A. I think that is all you can do. Regarding what other people think or feel, what works for me is to take them off the pedestal that I put them on. And, I try to be associated with people who are positive. I don't like negativity in my life. It seems you are doing a great job with your recovery. Keep up the wonderful work. Love and prayers to you and your A. Annie
Ava said
Mar 4, 2005
Hi there Eileen
When i have problems with family members not happy with me/giving me advice/pushing me around. The first thing i do is just let everything blow over for a couple of weeks and then I decide to worry about it later, by the time a couple of weeks comes I've usually forgotton about the problem or its solved itself or a new one has emerged!
Dont make him choose betweeen you or his family, he can have everybody. When I find myself worrying about what others think I say STOP ava STOP I cant contoll what others think of me or my life, i can only controll my attitudes & behaviours.
I hate to sound like I'm whining, but Rich is home after 4 days in Detox. He called me this morning and said he was being discharged, would I come pick him up? Of course I did. Rich is 39 years old and I feel old enough to make his own decisions.
His 3 sisters feel differently. They are mad at me for bringing him back home to our condo. I am also in AA, attend meetings and we have discussed that we will go to meetings together. There is not one ounce of anything mind altering in this house. How can I assure his sisters that my intentions are only good ones for Rich and I?
Rich sometimes seems so torn between me and his family, I'm afraid that either his feelings for me aren't sincere, or that he might crack from all this pressure. All he wants is for everyone to get along. So do I. I had no idea his one sister disliked me as much as she does. HATES me...Rich and I abused alcohol together for awhile and I know I enabled him. I've been going to Alanon Meetings, too. What more can I do???? I regret every day that I continued to abuse myself and him...we both have lost so much from this terrible booze. I lost my marriage, my children, my home. Rich has lost his daughter. Why can't people give us a chance? I get mad about this and very frustrated. Please, any input would be REALLY appreciated as to how to "detach" from this situation with LOVE.
Eileen
There is one more thing that you can do about your man and his sisters… try doing nothing, yep nothing. Have you forgotten or skipped over the God steps?
Hugs & Luv,
-- Edited by richard at 23:14, 2005-03-02
Hi there Eileen
When i have problems with family members not happy with me/giving me advice/pushing me around. The first thing i do is just let everything blow over for a couple of weeks and then I decide to worry about it later, by the time a couple of weeks comes I've usually forgotton about the problem or its solved itself or a new one has emerged!
Dont make him choose betweeen you or his family, he can have everybody. When I find myself worrying about what others think I say STOP ava STOP I cant contoll what others think of me or my life, i can only controll my attitudes & behaviours.
Chin up
Keep smiling
Ava