My partner has just gone into a detox/rehab to get the help he so very badly needs. And I'm very happy for him, yet afraid that when he comes out that he will not want to be with me anymore. We abused alcohol together for awhile, and then I went into recovery. He has told me many times he loves me and that I mean the world to him. Is or was he ever really capable of these feelings? Was I just an enabler and now the party is over? I love him, so many of his qualities, and fear losing him. Can we make this work?
Mark S said
Feb 28, 2005
esoro,
Congradulations on your recovery as well as your partners. Worrying will do nothing to change his feelings toward you, as they say worry about tomorrow only robs us of the happiness of today, and many times what we worry about never comes to pass. You care about your partner so take joy in the fact he is doing something to take care of himself, thats the best kind of love you can give him. Maybe something else to think about, if he loved you only because you would party with him, is that that the kind of love you would want? I'm sure its not the reason you love him. Sounds as if you both have undergone some major changes in your life, and people naturally are resistant to change, and it does cause worry, but Ive found most of the time I was resistant to change, and worried about it, I was much happier when I embraced it and accepted it. Never know, ever thought maybe he liked what he saw in you since you have been in recovery and wanted the same for himself...just a thought.
Take it one day at a time friend
Keep your face to the sun
Mark
esoro2004 said
Mar 1, 2005
Thank you, Mark, for your encouraging thoughts. I suppose my self-esteem is pretty shot, but I am working on that, too. I'm glad I found a place like this for the extra support. i hope I will be able to help others, too. Eileen
Mark S said
Mar 1, 2005
Eileen
Glad you’re here!! You know you stated that your self esteem was shot. That seems to be one of the things the disease attacks on every one it touches. Glad you’re here!! Take some time to sit in and participate in the meetings here and use the chat room. If ya start feeling rough and lonely please check out the chartroom it does help. Keep on posting and reading others posts as well. Try to find a Face to Face meeting in your area, this helps more than anything else for me….what ever you do take some time to take care of yourself, and remember you are important. Keep coming back!!!
Keep your face to the sun
Mark
Magichappens said
Mar 3, 2005
Hi Eileen,
I understand the fear you are feeling. I felt I was losing my husband to his addiction, and then maybe in his recovery. Through the help and healing I found in Al-Anon, I was able to turn that relationship over to a loving God of my understanding. Even now, I have pangs that things won't go the way I want them to, but I know that they will go the way they are supposed to if I follow my recovery.
I hope that you and your partner's path together in recovery. Hugs, Magic
My partner has just gone into a detox/rehab to get the help he so very badly needs. And I'm very happy for him, yet afraid that when he comes out that he will not want to be with me anymore. We abused alcohol together for awhile, and then I went into recovery. He has told me many times he loves me and that I mean the world to him. Is or was he ever really capable of these feelings? Was I just an enabler and now the party is over? I love him, so many of his qualities, and fear losing him. Can we make this work?
Hi Eileen,
I understand the fear you are feeling. I felt I was losing my husband to his addiction, and then maybe in his recovery. Through the help and healing I found in Al-Anon, I was able to turn that relationship over to a loving God of my understanding. Even now, I have pangs that things won't go the way I want them to, but I know that they will go the way they are supposed to if I follow my recovery.
I hope that you and your partner's path together in recovery. Hugs, Magic