Love without condition "I love you as you are, as you seek to find your own special way to relate to the world, or the way you feel that is right for you. It is important that you are the person you want to be and not someone that I or others think you should be."
Unconditional love is enlarging the self, and an act of will. It is not a feeling or an emotional reaction. Think of the difference between falling in love, and growing in love through all difficulties and conflicts. Unconditional love is an act of mental and spiritual will, it cannot and does not take place upon the emotional level, which is where the problems first register. Unconditional love is extending oneself in the service of the spiritual growth of oneself and/or another, independently of reward or the behavior of others.
To truly love in this way could include:
· To call forth a sense of responsibility, and a capacity to make wise choices.
· To point out weaknesses people have, - but very caringly so that the best in the person is drawn forth in response, rather than resistance.
· To challenge people to strive and attain, and discover their true selves..
· To help people work on their habits and weaknesses so that they become stronger. To show them how to use their will correctly.
· To help people learn to cooperate, and thus to overcome their little egos.
· To engage people in working for humanity.
· To teach people how to overcome their prejudices, resentments, separative tendencies, vanities, illusions, and other blocks to their own joy.
To truly love in this way does NOT mean:
· To surrender to weakness.
· To accept things that are harmful.
· To encourage weakness or irresponsibility.
· To accept dirt or ugliness in thought, feeling or action.
· To exploit or use people.
· To put people into sleep.
· To tolerate laziness.
Unconditional love causes you to see what has really caused a situation and to see through the outer appearances to the true needs or yourself and others, without criticism of yourself or others . It causes you to see the basic good in yourself and other(s).
Unconditionally loving people see their own errors and joyfully self-correct them .
They love themselves, others and the Source of Life, and therefore the whole of life. In particular, they are inclusive, and can maintain love and goodwill towards both the apparent "victim" and "oppressor" in a situation.
They seek to radiate their inner harmony and joy, peace and healing into any situation - without conditions or expectation of reward, and independently of the thoughts, feelings, and actions of others.
They are group conscious and do not react by immediately taking sides.
They serve the cause of peace and goodwill, and can often find ways to a fair solution of conflict that are not available to emotionally charged people.
The Forgiveness Process can be seen to be a process which moves us towards this goal of unconditional love.
Maria123 said
Feb 28, 2005
Thanks Phil,
I loved "Unconditional Love." I plan to add it to my repertoire of Recovery Literature.
It can apply to every aspect of our lives too -- home, our children, work, groups and friendships.
As I read it, I feel that I do apply the principles of the program to my life 99% of the time. Life is good.
cdb said
Feb 28, 2005
Phil,
Thank you so much for posting this! I wish I would have had this years ago when my kids were young. I do know that it will be a valuable tool for me now no matter what ages they are. It applies to so many things. I do think I need to have unconditional love for myself too right now! This taking care of me as alanon talks of is new to me and I can see how I need to be unconditionally accepting of myself too. cdb
Smeep61 said
Mar 4, 2005
Thanks phil.. for me unconditional love is to love someone as God loves us.... to me it is very simple...when I get angry or mad at someone I just stop and remember ... the more I forgive the more I will be forgiven and the more I learn to love someone for who they are the more I can be loved for who I am... knowone can love us more than God himself but I try to keep in mind how I will be judged when I leave this earth, and I want to leave knowing I did my best to try and unconditionally love others as I would want them to love me. Thanks terry
"I love you as you are, as you seek to find your own special way to relate to the world, or the way you feel that is right for you. It is important that you are the person you want to be and not someone that I or others think you should be."
Unconditional love is enlarging the self, and an act of will. It is not a feeling or an emotional reaction. Think of the difference between falling in love, and growing in love through all difficulties and conflicts. Unconditional love is an act of mental and spiritual will, it cannot and does not take place upon the emotional level, which is where the problems first register. Unconditional love is extending oneself in the service of the spiritual growth of oneself and/or another, independently of reward or the behavior of others.
To truly love in this way could include:
· To call forth a sense of responsibility, and a capacity to make wise choices.
· To point out weaknesses people have, - but very caringly so that the best in the person is drawn forth in response, rather than resistance.
· To challenge people to strive and attain, and discover their true selves..
· To help people work on their habits and weaknesses so that they become stronger. To show them how to use their will correctly.
· To help people learn to cooperate, and thus to overcome their little egos.
· To engage people in working for humanity.
· To teach people how to overcome their prejudices, resentments, separative tendencies, vanities, illusions, and other blocks to their own joy.
To truly love in this way does NOT mean:
· To surrender to weakness.
· To accept things that are harmful.
· To encourage weakness or irresponsibility.
· To accept dirt or ugliness in thought, feeling or action.
· To exploit or use people.
· To put people into sleep.
· To tolerate laziness.
Unconditional love causes you to see what has really caused a situation and to see through the outer appearances to the true needs or yourself and others, without criticism of yourself or others . It causes you to see the basic good in yourself and other(s).
Unconditionally loving people see their own errors and joyfully self-correct them .
They love themselves, others and the Source of Life, and therefore the whole of life. In particular, they are inclusive, and can maintain love and goodwill towards both the apparent "victim" and "oppressor" in a situation.
They seek to radiate their inner harmony and joy, peace and healing into any situation - without conditions or expectation of reward, and independently of the thoughts, feelings, and actions of others.
They are group conscious and do not react by immediately taking sides.
They serve the cause of peace and goodwill, and can often find ways to a fair solution of conflict that are not available to emotionally charged people.
The Forgiveness Process can be seen to be a process which moves us towards this goal of unconditional love.
Thanks Phil,
I loved "Unconditional Love." I plan to add it to my repertoire of Recovery Literature.
It can apply to every aspect of our lives too -- home, our children, work, groups and friendships.
As I read it, I feel that I do apply the principles of the program to my life 99% of the time. Life is good.
Phil,
Thank you so much for posting this! I wish I would have had this years ago when my kids were young. I do know that it will be a valuable tool for me now no matter what ages they are. It applies to so many things. I do think I need to have unconditional love for myself too right now! This taking care of me as alanon talks of is new to me and I can see how I need to be unconditionally accepting of myself too. cdb
Thanks phil.. for me unconditional love is to love someone as God loves us.... to me it is very simple...when I get angry or mad at someone I just stop and remember ... the more I forgive the more I will be forgiven and the more I learn to love someone for who they are the more I can be loved for who I am... knowone can love us more than God himself but I try to keep in mind how I will be judged when I leave this earth, and I want to leave knowing I did my best to try and unconditionally love others as I would want them to love me. Thanks terry