Hi all, I so love the story of going out to have a day with the ma nice I did decide to put the a on the curb with the recycles. I know it is not healty to go toe to toe with him, as the disease says to do. The "in my face" stuff. I warned him twice to chill his stuff - maybe 27 times except it had to stop. It is through the strength of this group I did elect to release. It's for empowerment that I am greatful. lol I do not have an idea whats up now - except no more name calling. No more blame - no more shame game. I am a 20 year member of the program. Oops I did it again. Gentle paths n light n love to all, \/\/ille

I did the same thing thursday, and I fell really good about the choice I made. I fell I'm on the way to getting my self-esteam back. I know it will be really hard when he turns the tides and is at his best (the best only last till they get back in the door). I will not be fooled again.

For me, it is not the person. It is a person who has a horrible disease. I detached a long time ago from the disease. It cannot control me anymore. I can love my A all I want, respect him, be empathetic for him. I am sad I had to have him leave. Becuz it was not the man I wanted to go, it was the disease. But sadly the two are in one body. I did not lose me the last time he was here. Alanon taught me so much. I was able to detach and just love the man. But the disease tried another tactic, physical crap. that was my boundary. I guess what I am saying is,these are human beings with a horrible disease. Somedays are ok, some things touch me and I feel so much love, but mostly I miss my husband who is a mess, and alone and sick and controlled by horrible demons. love,debilyn

thank you for the share.

I am debating putting my A on the curb also. I just don't want to continue with the name alling etc. he said"I laugh at you every day" to me a short while ago.

i said "I know you do"

But this program is helping me to get stronger.

Today I rented a car and drove to the bike shop to get my tire fixed. It has been sitting broken for a week and my A said he would fix it... Now I have it fixed.

Tonight I found an alanon meeting 15 miles away and I will give that group a try.

Then I will see my nephews lacrosse game.

Stronger every day.

Good for you to finally get some peace in your life

 

Wille, sounds like the "madness" is out of the house.  I am so glad that it is not "in your face."  Good for you.  I am certain there is a feeling of relief to get the negativity and dark cloud away from you.  It is one thing living w an active A who respects your space most of the time.  It is another thing when the A is continually verbally abusive. 

Keep up the good work.  Peace and love to you.  Annie

That is so tempting putting my A out with the recycling!  I can relate so well to the 'In my face' stuff i think i said twice yesterday to my A 'back off' as the constant patter would not cease and i had already been out of the house for two hours for a break.

I guess we are only human and we all have a basic need for survival.

Thinking of you and hoping you are OK

ava     

I lost count of the times I put him out to the recycling, but they didn't want him either, LOL. The last time was the last time (hmmm, how many times have I said that??)!! I'm just one of those people that can't seem to give in and give up.. In my case, things have worked out really well, and I have the man I love back, healthy and whole, (for now, anyway). I don't know what the future holds, but right now, I am treasuring every precious minute. Miracles do happen! and water does get spilled on the laptop! and then another miracle happens, it's ok, and then I thank my HP again!! I'm really rambling, but I'm just writing words as they come to me, so please forgive my ramblings :) ,TLC