My son is struggling with doing life. He has a woman friend now. I think she has a good heart. They are getting close and that scares my son. The only thing my son knows of being close is abuse. My son is struggling getting and keeping gainful employment. I am weaning my son from being monetary dependent of me. Life! My son has not picked up 'speed', which ruined him, since he been in my life for the year or so. My son's use of marijuana and alcohol has been non-problematic. The other day he said he had not had alcohol for two or three months. My son has a trust problem, which is the norm for anyone raised in hell. My son admits this. My son has a trust problem regarding his woman-friend's ex who visits their child at her home. My son dropped by my place to say hi and shovel the snow. He thought I was asleep and did not knock and was just shoveling the snow. I was only lying down, not sleeping. My son came in for a few minutes before going over his woman-friend's house. My son spoke of the trust problem. I shared how he could, if he chooses to share his feelings without making it her problem, keeping his problem his. He said he had been sneaky by showing up at her house without first calling. I shrugged, "good" as in him escaping being seen in a bad light or something. My son apparently had been reflecting on getting close to me when he first got here a year ago and living with me and the trouble he gave me. He recognizes his problems with his relationship with her being similar to that of with me. My son said that she seems to be there for him but his trust problems tarnishes that (my words) and thank me for staying being there for him. My son had beer breath…stress… a good excuse. I kept my mouth shut. I did let go. I have already told him recently, "…if you get busted for doing something stupid, now, that I would not bail him out… just let me know where to write to." He said that was blunt but he understood and accepted that. I sold him my old very nice car (with a loa). Beer breath and driving and Michigan is way tough on drinking and driving, couple with risk of harming others. I still kept my mouth shut. I keeping my mouth shut… what a concept. It was written some two thousand years ago to the effect that is better for me to keep my mouth shut and have people think that I am a fool, than open my mouth and have people know that I am a fool. My son's God and my son are quite capable of traveling my son's path in life. It better I tend to my own path.
Amen. Thanks for reading all of this.
Hugs & Luv,
megan said
Feb 21, 2005
Wow Richard
How very strong of you to be able to keep your mouth shut.
Thanks for the share
cdb said
Feb 21, 2005
Hello Richard,
Wow! You and your son have come a long way since I first met you here. It is great how he will talk to you about feelings and ask for advice now. And for him to look back and admit his wrongdoings with you! Wow, you have certainly made a difference in his life and he has truly become a true part of you. I have goosebumps typing this because I wish this for my own daughter. I have gotten some of the same love and understanding from my daughter recently but then when her disease kicked in again,,,I could see (Her) fading away. I have had to bite my tongue or keep my mouth shut over this new friend of hers that is now in prison. Before she went into treatment, she had to visit him! OKay, cdb, detatch and calm down. Keep on posting Richard. I look forward to hearing about you too and if you are still having coffee at that coffee house. How is your health? Have you kept in touch with your other son? Keep on posting! cdb
debilyn said
Feb 21, 2005
hey ya brat how the heck are YOU?
you sound so healthy when ya talk about your boy. good for you. Ok mr. did he put the car in his name??? make sure he did will ya? if he didn't and gets into trouble, it will be your trouble.
My moms friend was a deputy sheriff and lost her license becuz of her daughters boyfriend driving daughters car dui....
so how are you and are you still drinking coffee? do ya love your new car?
I am hoping hp has good news for me this week. My house mortagage should go wayyyyy down so i can afford a care payment I hope so.
My ole shortbed chevy is almost thirty years old. I love it though. would love to fix it up.
I want a suburu forrester or outback. all my dogs would fit in it.
good to read your long post. love,debilyn in oregon
jj said
Feb 22, 2005
WOW! richard that is great to here! I know that when I hold my toung even though it was hard I feel triumphant afterwards, like I have accomplished greatness in myself. Do you feel the same?
I am glad that you son has found trust in you and feels that he can confide in you that is just so wonderful to here.
I am truely happy for you JJ
alystylz said
Feb 26, 2005
Hi Richard
Sounds like you know pretty well how to MYOB...getting sucked in to the addict/alcoholics stinking thinking only makes things worse. Taking care of ourselves is the only way to having peace. I understand only too well how it is living with a son with a problem. Hugs to you.
My son is struggling with doing life. He has a woman friend now. I think she has a good heart. They are getting close and that scares my son. The only thing my son knows of being close is abuse. My son is struggling getting and keeping gainful employment. I am weaning my son from being monetary dependent of me. Life! My son has not picked up 'speed', which ruined him, since he been in my life for the year or so. My son's use of marijuana and alcohol has been non-problematic. The other day he said he had not had alcohol for two or three months. My son has a trust problem, which is the norm for anyone raised in hell. My son admits this. My son has a trust problem regarding his woman-friend's ex who visits their child at her home. My son dropped by my place to say hi and shovel the snow. He thought I was asleep and did not knock and was just shoveling the snow. I was only lying down, not sleeping. My son came in for a few minutes before going over his woman-friend's house. My son spoke of the trust problem. I shared how he could, if he chooses to share his feelings without making it her problem, keeping his problem his. He said he had been sneaky by showing up at her house without first calling. I shrugged, "good" as in him escaping being seen in a bad light or something. My son apparently had been reflecting on getting close to me when he first got here a year ago and living with me and the trouble he gave me. He recognizes his problems with his relationship with her being similar to that of with me. My son said that she seems to be there for him but his trust problems tarnishes that (my words) and thank me for staying being there for him. My son had beer breath…stress… a good excuse. I kept my mouth shut. I did let go. I have already told him recently, "…if you get busted for doing something stupid, now, that I would not bail him out… just let me know where to write to." He said that was blunt but he understood and accepted that. I sold him my old very nice car (with a loa). Beer breath and driving and Michigan is way tough on drinking and driving, couple with risk of harming others. I still kept my mouth shut. I keeping my mouth shut… what a concept. It was written some two thousand years ago to the effect that is better for me to keep my mouth shut and have people think that I am a fool, than open my mouth and have people know that I am a fool. My son's God and my son are quite capable of traveling my son's path in life. It better I tend to my own path.
Amen. Thanks for reading all of this.
Hugs & Luv,
Wow Richard
How very strong of you to be able to keep your mouth shut.
Thanks for the share
Hello Richard,
Wow! You and your son have come a long way since I first met you here. It is great how he will talk to you about feelings and ask for advice now. And for him to look back and admit his wrongdoings with you! Wow, you have certainly made a difference in his life and he has truly become a true part of you. I have goosebumps typing this because I wish this for my own daughter. I have gotten some of the same love and understanding from my daughter recently but then when her disease kicked in again,,,I could see (Her) fading away. I have had to bite my tongue or keep my mouth shut over this new friend of hers that is now in prison. Before she went into treatment, she had to visit him! OKay, cdb, detatch and calm down. Keep on posting Richard. I look forward to hearing about you too and if you are still having coffee at that coffee house. How is your health? Have you kept in touch with your other son? Keep on posting! cdb
WOW! richard that is great to here! I know that when I hold my toung even though it was hard I feel triumphant afterwards, like I have accomplished greatness in myself. Do you feel the same?
I am glad that you son has found trust in you and feels that he can confide in you that is just so wonderful to here.
I am truely happy for you
JJ
Hi Richard
Sounds like you know pretty well how to MYOB...getting sucked in to the addict/alcoholics stinking thinking only makes things worse. Taking care of ourselves is the only way to having peace. I understand only too well how it is living with a son with a problem. Hugs to you.
Aly