OH how I wish I could be where you are in your serenity with life Richard. I so admire it and I do have faith that it will come to me or I will come to it. For some reason it just isn't within my reach yet. I still don't feel life is fun and I don't feel a sense of peace with death either. I am like this scared little rabbit hopping around worrying about anything and everything. Well, not everyday but most days recently. I know it has to do with a sense of control in my life. And, yes, I do feel my daughter will be okay if my husband and I are gone,,,,but that is if she gets our life insurance money LOL. Well, maybe she will spend it all at once?
Well, I so look forward to your input and I am trying,,yes I am. Slowly and Surely I am trying to find fun and serenity in my life. Thanks for being here for me and for helping me through this journey. cdb
richard said
Feb 18, 2005
Well, cdb, you still have a bit of humor… your daughter and you life insurance. Serious, stuff but funny. I sure wish that when I was born that life came with a little what to do book that fit my little hands. All I have had to use is 59 years of life’s book to learn.
Hugs & Luv,
gardengal said
Feb 18, 2005
HI CDB, I know exactly how you feel , however one step in front of the other, (literally). You made a comment on my post on "Crazy Love", altho it isnt entirely Alanon literature, it seems to fall into place with the "thing" called codependency, that we all seem to suffer with when dealing with an A. I do not believe in posting non alanon literature on here, however, it seems to come up alot in topics in our meetings, and no one seems to be able to define it, including myself.
When I was (and still sometimes am) desperate for answers/serenity/some normalness in my life as many do here, I enrolled myself into a drug and alcohol treatment program, even tho I wasnt the one with "the drinking" problem. I did this so I could learn more about the disease of addiction. Here I found these wonderful pamphlets that I have been quoting the "codependence" theory from.
I have to laugh as here I was at the front of the "class" with notepad in my hand and taking notes,,while others who "HAD" to be there from being court ordered to do so were either sleeping or sitting there completely bored.I went because I was desperate for answers,,I wanted to learn more about the disease of addiction etc. I went for 4 weeks faithfully for 2 hours once a week to learn, and also alanon of course once a week.
I am telling you this as perhaps there is a Treatment centre near you that you too can attend, to learn more, to help you in your recovery, from the affects from a loved ones addiction. Along with the continuous alanon meetings, coming here, and even AA meetings, and reading all you can about this disease, you will heal, it just takes time and so much effort, but if I can do it, anyone can! Keep coming back it works if you work it!,,,,,,take care of you as you are #1......gardengal
OH how I wish I could be where you are in your serenity with life Richard. I so admire it and I do have faith that it will come to me or I will come to it. For some reason it just isn't within my reach yet. I still don't feel life is fun and I don't feel a sense of peace with death either. I am like this scared little rabbit hopping around worrying about anything and everything. Well, not everyday but most days recently. I know it has to do with a sense of control in my life. And, yes, I do feel my daughter will be okay if my husband and I are gone,,,,but that is if she gets our life insurance money LOL. Well, maybe she will spend it all at once?
Well, I so look forward to your input and I am trying,,yes I am. Slowly and Surely I am trying to find fun and serenity in my life. Thanks for being here for me and for helping me through this journey. cdb
Well, cdb, you still have a bit of humor… your daughter and you life insurance. Serious, stuff but funny. I sure wish that when I was born that life came with a little what to do book that fit my little hands. All I have had to use is 59 years of life’s book to learn.
Hugs & Luv,
HI CDB, I know exactly how you feel , however one step in front of the other, (literally). You made a comment on my post on "Crazy Love", altho it isnt entirely Alanon literature, it seems to fall into place with the "thing" called codependency, that we all seem to suffer with when dealing with an A. I do not believe in posting non alanon literature on here, however, it seems to come up alot in topics in our meetings, and no one seems to be able to define it, including myself.
When I was (and still sometimes am) desperate for answers/serenity/some normalness in my life as many do here, I enrolled myself into a drug and alcohol treatment program, even tho I wasnt the one with "the drinking" problem. I did this so I could learn more about the disease of addiction. Here I found these wonderful pamphlets that I have been quoting the "codependence" theory from.
I have to laugh as here I was at the front of the "class" with notepad in my hand and taking notes,,while others who "HAD" to be there from being court ordered to do so were either sleeping or sitting there completely bored.I went because I was desperate for answers,,I wanted to learn more about the disease of addiction etc. I went for 4 weeks faithfully for 2 hours once a week to learn, and also alanon of course once a week.
I am telling you this as perhaps there is a Treatment centre near you that you too can attend, to learn more, to help you in your recovery, from the affects from a loved ones addiction. Along with the continuous alanon meetings, coming here, and even AA meetings, and reading all you can about this disease, you will heal, it just takes time and so much effort, but if I can do it, anyone can! Keep coming back it works if you work it!,,,,,,take care of you as you are #1......gardengal