@el-cee, You didn't hurt my feelings, I found it offensive and insensitive. There's a difference in advising someone finds a way to accept that death is a possible consequence or outcome of this disease and calling it a solution to the problem.
Surely if someone came here talking about any other life threatening disease the responses would be completely different and more compassionate. I couldn't imagine anyone saying death is a solution, an end to the disease if I was saying he had cancer. Hopefully nobody would tell me problem solved if he passed away.
You have the right to say and think however you want. I feel differently. Although my life is very chaotic and full of turmoil I would never even entertain the idea that at least if he dies my problems are over with.
Just because this is a disease that people look down upon and see as self inflicted doesn't mean the A's don't deserve the same amount of compassion and love as any other person with a disease.
My husband does have other health issues that will eventually kill him. I have accepted that fact. So yes,I was offended to read you suggest death as a solution.
The struggle I am mostly having is as I have said already a couple of times ,I think I was traumatized by his last OD. I am going to seek the help of a professional to work through it. And although this thread began being helpful,it no longer is and I will no longer respond to it.
Thanks everyone for the replies here that I did find helpful.
Debb said
Jan 16, 2020
I have to say this, it is very important for me to impart on you SF, that when I came to MIP I was a shell of a person. I was so beat up by this disease, I felt worthless, alone and degraded. These people, that have been trying to help you, are the best of the best. All have many years of experience and knowledge that each brings to those of us who come here for help. Each has an individual level of knowledge that you could not find any where under any circumstances. They saved my me, literally, with there support and guidance, because they know this disease and how to guide those who come here for help (to use the Al Anon tools). They know that Al Anon works, if you work it. They know that you have to find a way to step out of your pain and fears in order to use those tools that help us .
el-cee said
Jan 16, 2020
Listen, don't judge me, just because you refuse to understand where im coming from does not give you the right to insinuate I have no compassion or love!!!!! You walk in my shoes before making these judgments!
SunnyFrogs said
Jan 16, 2020
Moderators,I respectfully ask that this thread be locked.
@el-cee, You didn't hurt my feelings, I found it offensive and insensitive. There's a difference in advising someone finds a way to accept that death is a possible consequence or outcome of this disease and calling it a solution to the problem.
Surely if someone came here talking about any other life threatening disease the responses would be completely different and more compassionate. I couldn't imagine anyone saying death is a solution, an end to the disease if I was saying he had cancer. Hopefully nobody would tell me problem solved if he passed away.
You have the right to say and think however you want. I feel differently. Although my life is very chaotic and full of turmoil I would never even entertain the idea that at least if he dies my problems are over with.
Just because this is a disease that people look down upon and see as self inflicted doesn't mean the A's don't deserve the same amount of compassion and love as any other person with a disease.
My husband does have other health issues that will eventually kill him. I have accepted that fact. So yes,I was offended to read you suggest death as a solution.
The struggle I am mostly having is as I have said already a couple of times ,I think I was traumatized by his last OD. I am going to seek the help of a professional to work through it. And although this thread began being helpful,it no longer is and I will no longer respond to it.
Thanks everyone for the replies here that I did find helpful.
Thanks